Question!

I could only ask an EastRondoner this...

Me: "Are Pikeys real?!?"
J: "Well I haven't come across any lately, but..."
Me: "What, you mean they're not in your backyard these days?" *grin*
Snatch, it's still one of my fave all-time movies :)

And now... Meatfest:

(Top-left is what a 1kg steak looks like!)
My lobster bisque entree?!?

Just kidding, here tis!


le 600g T-Bone
(did you know, one side is Porterhouse, and the other Fillet?)


le 350g New York Strip Steak
Num numm nummm indeedy!

Goodman! Thoroughly recommend it. Little bit on the salty-well-seasoned side, however, great cuts of beef.

Po-po-po-poker-face!

Happy hour cocktails + a beer + vodka:


A precious ticket to Lady Gaga @ Brixton Academy:


I have to say, Lady Gaga is so much fun to watch :)
If you get the chance to watch her, don't miss it!

15 mins of my day

Spent popping into Lazarides gallery. I'd love to invest in art pieces. I keep forgetting that there's more to life than spending money on holidays *grin* If I had a spare 6K squiddies, I'd love to buy this piece from Antony Micallef. Or this one. Coooome on Euromillions *grin*

Anyways, currently on exhibition at Lazarides is,
"Scratching the Surface" by Alexandre Farto (aka Vhils):

From what I've read on Wooster:
"Vhils' portriats (sic) are made using acid and bleach, as they eat into surfaces to expose layers of posters beneath."

This guy's been doing streetart since he was 13!! ... Makes me wish I had talent...

Rockin with a Rock God

Recently, instead of buying clothes online when drunk, I purchase gig tickets instead :P Which is how I ended up watching Lenny Kravitz tonight *grin*

Dear lord. 18 years since I first listened to Lenny Kravitz. He hasn't lost his sexy, sultry, edge at all. 18 years and I can still remember the chorus to his songs :) By the end of his first song, I had left the angsty crowd at the front of the stage. Clambering up between 2 poles on the side, I had a clear view of the stage and Lenny all night *grin*

W00t w00t! Lenny rocked my world :) More drunken gig ticket purchases!

Holiday reading

Hrm, overall:
:: Loved The Old Man and the Sea, and Lord of the Flies.
:: Not a fan of The Sun Also Rises (the book which made Pamplona famous) and The Great Gatsby. Started out well, then just bored me.
:: Hated The Unbearable Lightness of Being. For a book with such a catchy title, it sure sucked the life out of me. Have you ever read books which made you want to throw it against a wall in frustration because the storyline went nowhere? Or it just kept making "enlightening" observations every few pages as subtly as a smack to the head by a 2x4 filled with rusty nails? This is it.

The "Dinner Party" question

The last time I was asked, "Dead or alive, who would you invite to a dinner party?" I answered, "Fidel Castro". I got a look of surprise back from the Questioner.
Me: "What's wrong with Fidel? I would love to know what he's thinking."
Mate: "Well yeah, but it's a dinner party. He's not going to be very entertaining."

Next time I'm at a dinner party at this guy's place, I'm going to pull out a cute wittle bunny wabbit and feed it an acid-laced carrot...

I've spent the last week reading Fidel's biography, My Life, by Ignacio Ramonet. It's written in a Q&A format, with Fidel answering everything from his childhood, the battle at Moncada Barracks, the day Batista was overthrown, the Bay of Pigs, the Cuban Missile Crisis, his friendship with Che, Cuba's relationship with USSR, Latin America and Africa... I can't put it down. It's been *such* a long time since I've been this engrossed with a book. I don't read non-fiction books that often either.

Fidel was only 27 when he started the revolution. At 32, he had led the revolution to victory. That's what I call a five year plan! Fidel is living history. Love him or hate him, it's really hard not to admire him for all he's lived through in the past 50 years; for his ideals as a revolutionary and for all he gave of himself for his country.

I've included excerpts from the book below. I really recommend you read it for yourself though.

(No cute wittle bunny wabbits were hurt in this blog post *grin*)

Did you and your followers use terrorism, for example, against Batista's forces? Or assassinations?
Neither terrorism or assasinations. You know, we were against Batista but we never tried to assassinate him, and we could have done it... The men who attacked the Moncada fortress could have assassinated Batista on his farm, or on the road, the way Trujillo and other tyrants were killed, but we had a very clear idea: assassination does not solve the problem. They'll put someone else in the place of the man you killed, and the man you killed becomes a martyr to his people.

They also engaged in biological warfare against Cuba, sending in unknown viruses, I believe.
In 1971, under Nixon, the swine fever virus was introduced into Cuba in a container, according to a CIA source. And we had to sacrifice more than half a million hogs. That virus, which originated in Africa, was totally unknown on the island until then. And they introduced it twice.

And there were worse things than that: the type II dengue virus, which often produces potentially fatal haemorrhagic fevers in the human being. That was in 1981, and more than 350,000 people were infected; 158 people died, 101 of them children... The virus serotype was completely unknown at the time anywhere in the world; it had been created in a laboratory.

Attempts on your life?
There were dozens of plans, some of which came very close to succeeding. In all, of plans that there are records of, there were over 600.

... Chance sometimes intervened against them. There was an agent who had a cyanide pill and was about to put it into a chocolate milkshake in this place I often went to, a coffee shop in the Hotel Havana Libre. Fortunately, the ampoule froze, and just as he was about to throw it in, he realised that it was stuck to the ice in the freezer he'd put it in.

... In another assassination attempt, they planned to use a chemical agent that produced effects similar to LSD to contaminate the air in a TV studio where I went to make speeches on the radio. Another time they sprayed lethal poison on a package of cigarettes that I was suppose to smoke.

Internets down

For most of tonight, internets was down. That's right, NO SURFING. *Egads* No RSS feeds? No online shopping?!? So what does a girl like me do to chillax?!?

Sadly, I found myself watching my torrents and hovering over Firefox in the dock :P (Thank gawd torrents were still working :D )

Then I watched In Bruges. It is so dark, and it is soo hilarious :) Please watch. New respect for Colin Farrell as an actor. It also showcases how uniquely delicious British films can be when you're so used to Hollywood :) Two thumbs up!

Le fantastique!

We thought we had been blessed with a table at The Fat Duck, but when that fell through, we picked Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester instead. Well, la dee da! I have to say, that The Dorchester (hangout of Kate Moss), really _is_ the swishest hotel I've ever been to. This is luxury defined. The restaurant, was decked out in elegance. For the first time, I felt it would've been wrong of me to whip out my camera to take some food pr0n *grin*

Better still, I was surrounded by shexy French accents allllll night :D *swoon*

The evening started out well. We were very well behaved as we sipped our champagne aperitifs. My entree of "Soft-boiled organic EGG, crayfish and wild mushrooms, Nantua sauce" was sooooo good... The sauce... oooomg, it was sooo tasty! *drool* Err, I just looked it up, and Nantua sauce is made out of sauteed LIVE crayfish (o_O) Oops, that was a bit evil of me.

As the half bottle of white wine started flowing, we got more and more giggly. I'm sure people were looking at us *grin*

My main of "Fillet of BEEF and seared FOIE GRAS Rossini, "sacristain" potatoes, "Periqueux" sauce", was sadly, a bit on the ordinary side. The foie gras rossini was delicious, the beef however, was average. Good beef, but nothing special. I think I've figured it out, avoid ordering beef at French restaurants. There's just nothing very exciting the French can do to a fillet of beef.

As the half bottle of red wine reached its end, we were in stitches. I can't remember what we were laughing about, but I'm sure it was dang funny *grin* As the Sommelier comes over with my dessert wine, I'm still giggly. He starts showing us the bottle and explaining the wine to us. His accent was so dreamy, I asked him to repeat the name of the wine for us *lol* The wines he recommended for us that night were all excellent, I was impressed.

Ok, so I snuck a photo on my iPhone. Here's our yummy "ROSE and RASPBERRY pleasure":

At the end of the night, I sidled up to the Restaurant Director.
Me: "Bonsoir Monsieur!"
RD: "Bonsoir! Ça va?"
Me: (Sh*t, "bueno" is Spanish! What's French?!?) "Err, bien?"
RD: "Good! How can I help you?"
Me: "Could you do me a favour please? I would love a souvenir. Is it possible for me to get a signed menu from the Chef and a list of the wines we had tonight?"
RD: "Of course!"

The Restaurant Director comes back with a signed menu for me.
RD: "Would you like to see the kitchen and meet the Chef?"
Me: "That would be nice..." :D

We were shown to a very SPOTLESS kitchen and introduced to the Executive Chef for a chat :) I offerred to marry the Pastry Chef, unfortunately he was already married with a toddler. I should've made a move on the Saucier or Sommelier instead! As we leave the restaurant, we're handed a complimentary package of orange cakes. Nice touch.

Overall, I think I paid for the experience of dining at The Dorchester more than for the food itself. It's hard to explain, but I don't think it's possible to find this standard of service and atmosphere anywhere else. Comparative to all the other restaurants I've been to anyway. Or maybe it's just because I had great company that night :) I can't believe we got trashed at a very fancy adult restaurant! I feel like a rebel ;)

Ministry of Shit

I'm sorry, but this remaining "superclub" in Rondon was ass. I'm fact, I invite you to my ass. You'll have a better time. It'll be a lot friendlier that's a guarantee. WTF. It felt like half a step up from Home in Sydnery. I think I'm going to stick to festivals from now on.

Above & Beyond, sorry, I love you but I hated your Ministry audience. As evidenced by the number of random shouts of, "I hate you!" and, "You're annoying!" coming from me at the end of the night :P

Still, thanks to my crew for the effort :) Applause to CH for getting me drunk enough to care less.

I'm sad

After watching Dark Knight at IMAX, I'm sad that The Joker will never be played by Heath Ledger again :(

True supervillain

Glad I paused Dark Knight on my laptop last night, and decided to watch it at IMAX instead. Even though the only ticket I could get was to the 11:30pm session!! Also got to check out the trailer for The Watchmen on a massive screen. Something else to look forward to :)

Buddha Bar

Hrm, I was hoping for more the Laughing Buddha type of Buddha... If I was going to start a bar, that'd be the Buddha I place in my front reception. I'd make everyone rub his belly as a condition of entry too *grin* This one's still pretty impressive in size though.

Overall review - Drinks good, food meh. Good place to meet up with friends for cocktails, food was pretty dang average for price. Approx 45 squiddies each for 7 people, sharing small portions of food. Had to be done though, just for fun :)

I was worried

A Chuck Palahniuk reading? I had bought 2 tickets on the assumption my date would say, "yes". Usually, I would've gone on my own because these days, I get a variation of one of the following responses from people:
- "Chuck Pala-who? Sorry, don't know him."
- "Tuesday?!? Are you kidding? That's a school night."
- "Tired/Working..."

All fair enough reasons. Everyone has their own lives, and time is precious enough not for me to intrude on. But come on! It's Chuck Palahniuk! Author of "Fight Club"! I still remember taking a day off work to watch it with Cassie! That Chuck Pala-who! So I took a chance and asked Frisbee Date to come with me. I'm glad I did :) I think it's the only date we've been on that I've organised so far *grin* So yeah, I was worried about putting a good date on!

Ok, to sweeten the deal, I did throw in a Hache burger for dinner. Which was a little soggy by the time I delivered it, because it absolutely PISSED DOWN on me while I was on my way to the venue :( Coincidentally, I errr, was also wearing a white top with no bra on. Oops... At least that would make any guy happy on a date :P Fear not, I had a cardi to wear over it :) I'm not that much of a floozy :P

Chuck Palahniuk started the reading by having a blow-up doll blowing up contest with the audience. That's pretty unique :) Contestants got to keep the personally autographed blow-up doll. I would've made more effort to get a doll if Frisbee Date wasn't with me *grin* Chuck did a reading of Loser (clicky here for parts 1 & 2 on youtube), and he's got a story-teller's voice. To be honest, I've read quite a few of Chuck Palahniuk's books, and none of them are that memorable. However, to see him live, he's very engaging. I came out of that reading wanting to read more of his books! He's filled with anecdotes and I think that's part of what makes him so interesting. He kept my attention for that hour. Very impressive these days because I have such a short attention span. So if you get a chance, go see him.

Yes, things with Frisbee Date going well. Until he reads this post ;)

SATC

*UGH* Yes, that movie. I'm far too annoyed to say its name :P _Why_ did I watch it? As a favour to a friend. I've never really been a fan of the series, and *UGH* I couldn't help scrunching up my nose and wondering wtf all the fuss has been about for the past few months. Why did girls squeal so much over it? Why did magazines talk about the movie like it's the second coming of Christ?!? Alright alright, I giggled a bit throughout the movie, but I also experienced sharp stabbing pains in my abdomen. Though, that's probably because I have a potential stomach bug :P Seriously, I've been feeling nauseous since even before the movie started. The movie just aggravated it. And me.

What just absolutely *shits* me about this movie, is that Carrie Bradshaw hires a personal assistant who has a COMPUTER SCIENCE degree. *UUUUUUGH* A person in IT has better things to do in life than to be Carrie Bradshaw's PA!!! AND, to add insult to injury, _apparently_ IT people can't afford designer handbags!!!! Screw you Carrie Bradshaw, I can afford my own Louis Vutton. The fact I don't is because it's freaking ugly :P

*UUUUUUUGH*

Meltdown

Meltdown is another annual music festival in Rondon. This year, it's currated by Massive Attack. So off I went to see the, "Vangelis' Blade Runner Soundtrack performed live by the Heritage Orchestra, mixed by Massive Attack". Bit of a mouthful ;)

It was interesting... Ever wondered how wind, rain, zooming spaceship sound effects were made? :) There was a very talented percussionist there indeed. The only thing I would say that was missing, was footage from Blade Runner itself. Bit of a shame, however, I'm guessing there's probably some copyright issues involved in the decision. Instead, the stage had beaming lights and the backdrop was a myriad of ever-changing colours to occupy the visionary senses. As my eyes were constantly getting zapped by the beaming spotlights, I decided to close them and focus on the music instead...

Zap zap zap

... Errr, which made me very sleepy and I started to doze...
... Oddly, in my half-conscious state, I started seeing images...
... Words I could barely read flashed past...
... I'd open my eyes drowsily for a few seconds and see the stage dripped in colour...
... I'd close them again and my mind wandered somewhere distant to scenes I remember from the movie...

So yeah, I had a good time when I was dozing *grin* Think I'll download the movie and watch it again. What makes Blade Runner so special? It was made in the 80's and it's still one of the best utopian sci-fi movies ever! You'll always see it in one of those "Top xx.." film lists.

Cow meat

Let's start out with a Dove Bloody Mary.

It's no ordinary BM, this one has Guinness in it! o_O Not bad either, innit? For 5 squids! Only in East Rondon do cocktails come this cheap cheap!

Now we get to the COW MEAT. This was my sirloin dinner. Biggest f*cking cut of meat I've had to eat on my own in my life...

14oz == 400g!!

I wonder if this is how PdF felt when we got him a 1kg steak for his birthday one year :) How on earth did he manage to eat twice this much of cow meat?!?

Couldn't do it :( Left some gristle and a couple of bites left on my plate. Had to save room for dessert after all :P Which wasn't very good anyways... However, if it's a hunk of Argentinian cow flesh you're after, head to Buen Ayre. Hrm, personally, I think I prefer Gaucho. Though, it's been awhile since I've been to Gaucho.

Fidgety

On the tube I glanced up. I meet the eyes of a cuteish guy with a cuteish smile. I quickly look away, embarrassed that I'd been rubbing my eye mercilessly for the past few mins. Did I mention that I've had a couple of glasses of Rioja? I would've blushed if I wasn't already red *grin*

So here I am blogging on my iPhone instead *lol* On my way to eat offal with Ms K if you must know. I've been looking forward to it all day! In the meantime I think I now understand why strangers advertise love notes to other strangers in the Metro. A stolen glance in less than a split second. Was he smiling at a joke shared with his friends at the instant I looked up? Was he smiling because he knew I was in a *happy* state? I'll never know, but I can live with ignorance :)

That's venison offal and chicory on my plate (best eaten together)
Chitterlings and chips on Ms K's plate :)


To be honest, I was expecting tripe, but got kidney and liver instead!!
Thanks Ms K for the wunderbar company as usual :)

Cynicism

So tonight I watched "Happy-Go-Lucky" at The Electric. It's the story of, you guessed it, the happiest-go-luckiest girl in Rondon. Errr, not only did I fall asleep for most of it (was it the Moscow Mule? Or just the pointlessness of it all?), but I also ended up hoping that the protagonist would DIE a painful death. My thought was, the happiest-go-luckiest girl in Rondon would fall in love with Mr Perfect, then get stabbed to death by the psycho driving instructor she meets. Stabble stabble stabble!

She doesn't of course. To my disappointment, she survives all the way to the end of the movie.

I feel ripped off. Where's the bitter-sweet ending? Where's the dark twist? As the movie ends, the happiest-go-luckiest girl in Rondon is rowing around in a lake on the phone to Mr Perfect and her best mate. What sort of ending is that? :P

On the upshot, The Electric is the most comfiest cinema I've ever been to in Rondon :) With footstools, cushy seats, cocktails and chocolate raisins. Definitely good for a snooze.

People that happy don't really exist, do they? :P My rating: 2 out of 5 stars.

Puppet pr0n

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to say the word, "penis", a lot in this post. There's your fair warning and my due diligence done.

On a whim, I decided to check out the Rondon Mime Fest. I thought, puppet show from Spain. Interesting. Can't be too bad. I hopped into a cab, headed to the ICA and even waited on the waiting list for this sold-out show. I got the very last ticket. I was stoked!

65 mins later, I came out wishing I'd just stayed home. I messaged a friend, "I just watched a puppet show. It was almost like puppet pr0n. There was even puppet penis. I'm so confused..."

It is the most nonsensical show I've ever watched. Half the time I was shaking my head and going, "Wtf?!?". The other half, I was thinking, "What the hell was the point of that?"

* Opening scene: A woman gets rogered by the devil and his sidekick. The woman gets killed by the Inquisition as a result.
Me: "Wtf? Is that a penis? Omg, the devil has a puppet penis. What the hell is the devil doing rogering that woman?"

* The woman becomes a ghost. I have to admit, the ghost looked pretty cool. The woman's daughter, Thalia, becomes a maid for the King's ho. Thalia scrubs the floors, and then brings over perfume to the King's ho.
Me: "Wtf? Did the ho just put perfume on her poonani? What the hell is she doing? Omg, I'm watching puppet masturbation!"

* In comes the drunken French King. He gets it on with his ho. The lights dim. When the lights come back on, the King and his ho are NEKID and doing it doggy style.
Me: "Wtf? Is that another puppet penis? Why the hell do I need to see so much puppet penis for? Omg, he's butt slapping her porno style!!!"

* In the next scene, Thalia is tied to a tree by the King's ho. Along comes Hans, the random boy, to save Thalia. Then Hans makes out with Thalia. The ghost enters the scene, chases Hans away. Then to "protect" Thalia from men, the ghost stabs Thalia with a poisoned needle and puts her to sleep. The ghost whisks Thalia away and lies her on a rock UNDERWATER.

This is where I wanted to put on an afro and say, "Wtf? You put that bitch underwater, that motherfucker is going to DROWN".

Is any of this making sense to you so far? Don't worry it gets WORSE. I'll cut out the meaningless middle bit and get to the end.

* 7 years later, Thalia ends up nekid on a turtle, still in a coma. Hans has become a wolfboy (don't ask) and finally finds Thalia. What's the first thing he does? Kiss her breasts. Second thing? Lick her poonani. What does the turtle do? Bite Han's penis. I kid you not. Hans then proceeds to have s3x0r with the comatose Thalia (baww-chika-waow-waow).
Me: "Wtf is going on?!? Puppet penises shouldn't be that big! When does this show finish? The turtle bit his penis, you'd think he'd take her off the turtle first before having s3x0r with her!"

* Thalia gives birth. Or rather, a baby crawls out of her vag. It sits on Thalia's face and starts to self-breastfeed. Apparently childbirth isn't enough to wake Thalia up, but the breastfeeding does the trick. Thalia wakes up! Finally! Hans returns. Hans transforms into a massive wolfbeast. Hans starts licking Thalia's poonani AGAIN (see pic above).
Me: "Wtf, I hope they're not going to do puppet beastiality!!! Oh thank gawd, the show is over! Let me out of here!!!"

Fcking waste of time and money. Don't bother seeing Teatro Corsario. The arrogant players even thought they deserved four curtain calls. If I had tomatoes, I would've thrown it at them. Give me Team America anyday.

Chris Rock

"If you're in a stripclub and it's daylight outside, you either have a problem, or you're a vampire!"

"Bush fucked up so badly, he made it hard for a white man to win the election!"

2 hours of Chris Rock live. I would rather have wet my pants than miss a minute. I almost did :P

Goldfinger

Out of curiousity, I watched Goldfinger the other night. Was Sean Connery really all that suave and cool as James Bond? Was James Bond really the ultimate spy?

Take a look at this "spy" coming out of the water with a fake duck strapped to his head:

The answer to the questions above is a resounding NO. Is the duck really necessary? How does a duck add points to stealthiness?!? All this in the opening sequence. I wasn't impressed.

Another thing that really surprised me, was how absolutely predatory Bond is when it came to women! Holy crap! There's a scene where Pussy Galore (yes, you read right, Pussy Galore), refuses Bond's advances, and fights back. What does Bond do? He throws her down in the hay, rolls ontop of her, pins her arms down and forcefully kisses her into submission. You can almost hear Pussy Galore thinking, "Gawd, it's easier just to let him have his way with me".

Any guy who comments back with, "That's what all girls want," is going to get their asses kicked :P

What the hell happened to no means no?!? That's a clear case of sexual harrassment if you ask me. Definitely think the scriptwriter should be shot. At the very least, he should be shot in the crotch for coming up with the name Pussy Galore :P

Clicky here for the 15 most cringe-worthy JB puns.