Bad influence

I caught up with Anonymous this evening, over Bloody Marytinis and chips. We were talking about the in's and out's of online dating. Then Anonymous said something that made me flinch:

"I hate it when people stop responding!"

I looked guiltily over my vodka, horseradish and tomato concoction, "That's... me..."

Whoops... So, Filmster Date had SMS'd me a few times over the weekend. I had responded once, then thought, "Aaah, can't be bothered". That's me being lazy :P It takes a lot of energy to be witty and charming! I just make it seem soo effortless *grin* I also didn't want to lead Filmster Date on. So I left it. Until tonight.

You're a bad influence, Anonymous :P

I admittedly cringed as I typed out an apology email. Maybe I was reading too much into it. Maybe Filmster Date already hates me and thinks I'm an evil cow. I went for the "Honesty is the best policy" approach.

Me: "Sorry for being so crap with the SMSes... I've been lazy. Reaaally lazy. And to be honest, I didn't want to lead you on. I had a fun night last week, but my heart's not into being more than anything than just friends at the moment. I hope you understand, and I hope you don't think I'm a bitch. Well, not too much of a bitch anyway..."

FD: "laziness, eh? good excuse! well, fair enough, thanks for being honest. i kinda figured you probably weren't up for anything more. but i did really enjoy meeting you and had a great time. not many people make me laugh as much as that! don't think you are a bitch. well not too much anyway haha!"

*Phew* At least I didn't make any enemies :) I'm starting to wish I could outsource all the yucky parts of The Game. What's that saying? It's all fun and games until someone loses an eyeball?

Filmster Date

Date outfit: Grey Argentinian top, blue slacks, white flat shoes. The flats were a surprising choice, cause out of all the dates I've had, Filmster Date's the tallest at 6 feet *grin*
Date location: London Bridge / General vicinity of Borough Markets
Date start time: Approx 6:45pm

Poor guy. He might've stood a chance if AA hadn't pre-fed me with a Bloody Mary (my new cocktail of choice) and a pep talk about getting back on the proverbial horse *grin* My head really wasn't in the date-game space.

I did have a fun night, but I did try to send out some "not interested" signals. I teased him a lot, and to his credit, he held up well and gave as good as he got. I also checked out chicks. What on earth are girls doing walking around in little mini-skirts? Meanwhile, I'm all buttoned up in my woolly Ben Sherman jacket.

Anyways, Filmster Date is so named, because he's in the film industry :) A nice refreshing change from IT. He's a director/screenplay writer wannabe. Loads of interesting stories to tell. Unfortunately, when it's my turn to explain what I do... I'm stumped. Do I really want to explain IT, project management, business analysis, setting up an offshore helpdesk, orifice politics to him? Naaah... I stick to, "I work with computers, it's boring". Don't get me wrong, I love IT and technology. I just don't think my job is very interesting :P Talk to me about the latest iPhone firmware and I'll give you a piece of my mind.

Eventually, I call it a night - "My flatmates are cooking squid for me". Strange, but not a lie! Only it became a lie when I got home and discovered no squiddies had been saved for me *grin*

So, to sum up - Nice guy, quickly transitioned to "more mate than date" type. No spark for me. He's messaging me though. Now what do I do?

Date end time: Approx 9pm.

Pr0n

One day, kids of the next generation are going to think it's short for "pr0nography" and start calling it "p0rn" as a codeword instead *grin*

Or they might just think us oldies are talking about dirty shellfish :P

I digress... I pulled this screenshot from a guy's Match profile awhile back, and forgot about it until I was cleaning my desktop today:

"...Candlelight, Dancing, Erotica, Flirting..." Hang on, "Erotica"?!? *lol* Isn't that another word for pr0n? Nothing wrong with guys liking their pr0n, but... is it really a good idea to admit it on a profile? :) Honesty's always great, but only when you know the other person well enough :P Quite a few of my girlfriends are still squeamish about it. Some are probably still in denial their bf/hubby ever owned any :P Meanwhile, I still know a guy who owns a *physical* pr0n stash! Odd, in this digital age.

Me: "Mate, haven't you heard of the internet?" *grin*
Guy: "But this is good stuff!"

Then again, a search on Google defines "erotica" as, "Tasteful fan fiction which involves characters in sexual situations". I guess, it's quite possible there are metro guys out there reading Mills & Boon :P

Ladies, all I can say is don't go digging too hard on your boy's hdd if you don't want to know the truth ;)

<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and Settings Ricky My Documents faxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder

Hrm, 2 for 1 and on sale for £4.24 eh? Think I'll do a book review soon ;)

Here endeth the experiment

At 8am yesterday, my subscription to MSF ended :) I was fast asleep, after an all-night drink fest with the girls till 5am.

My profile will remain up, but I won't be able to send or check messages. A few of my friends are telling me to resubscribe, but it's another 20 squiddies! :P Besides, I think I need a break from boys :P

I hope you've enjoyed the booty4sale series :) I might be able to squeeze out one more post about it, but for now, no more online dating. I need to focus more on looking good for my 30th birthday party *grin*

Things not to say

Ok, so I had a few. I came home. I logged on to MSF. I saw this picture on MSF:

I said the first thing on my mind.

"Tell me that's not a floating anus!"

Next message, "I shouldn't have said "anus" to you in my first message"
*Yoikes*

*Splish* *Splosh*

"Ou'est le piscine?"

Foux du fa fa ;) (I hearts this song *grin*)

Point is, look at my WHITE handbag! *Splish* *Splosh* :P I guess it's a sign of a good night with friends (you know who you are! Hereafter known as Anonymous) :)

You know what, I've discovered a competitive streak.

My "Who likes me" stats on MSF - 2 pages. 1 page == 10 guys. So, all up atm, 16 peeps. Not all quality either. Here's an example of a non-quality profile who favourites me:

Range Rover Sports Edition
0-100m in about 16secs (when he was 14 years old)
Chocolate Brown with Premium Leather Upholstery
Bluetooth Personal Telephone texting Integration
Premium Navigation System
Electrically Adjustable Front Seats built for comfort
GSOH
In Excellent Condition
Good traction
All mod con
Alloy Wheels
One previous female owner
Would suit a good looking caring female owner

Yeah. Dude, I don't think you're going to get laid anytime soon *grin*

Where was I... Yes, so I wrote a profile for Anonymous. *Guess*, just *guess*, _how_ many pages of "Who likes me" Anonymous has.

Here's the profile:
"I met Anonymous through work and when he left the company, I was miserable! Who was going to keep me sane? Who was going to chillax over a beer with me after work? Who was going to take me to eat chili baps at Borough Markets? It's been months since he left the company and I haven't found a suitable partner-in-crime replacement yet!

I tease Anonymous a lot, but the truth about Anonymous is, well... he's cute *grin*. Stylishly spiked hair, cheeky grin, social skills - totally not what you'd expect from an IT enthusiast! Anonymous is the type of guy who's always entertaining to hang out with. Always open-minded enough to answer all my silly questions. Always adventurous enough to fly off to the wilds of Mexico to eat a chihuahua taco. Always honest enough to tell me what I need to hear.

I've had many a philosophical conversation about life, love and current affairs with Anonymous over many glasses of wine! Even got funky and boogied with him on the dancefloor - and I must say, for a Caucasian male, he's dang good at shaking his booty :). In his chillout time, Anonymous beats up a mini rubber ball on the squash courts, cooks up a mean feast for friends, and loves being creative with his camera.

Ladies, if you're looking to meet someone who's a hint of charming bad boy mixed with a dash of fun and adventure - Anonymous is it."

"Who likes me" stats for Anonymous - 8 PAGES. (o_O) That's 80 chix0rz max. I still want a screenshot for verification. 8 pages!!! How fcking *awesome* am I as a profile writer? :)

Sweet Zombie Jesus!

(You'd be surprised how happy my Jesus-pen makes people @ work.
"Jesus says hello. Can you do xxx for me please?")

Btw, if you're looking for a hint of charming bad boy mixed with a dash of fun and adventure, get in touch *grin* I don't go there cause he's younger, and I've been there, done that. Just for the record :P

It's ON, Anonymous!!!! I ain't losing to you!

PS: You know, I've even been *removed* by some from the favourites list *HURRUMPH*

The proverbial horse

Never mind that I've never ridden a horse before, everyone's telling me to get back on it :P

*sigh*

So here I go again. Only... I'm more concerned about who my competition is! *lol* A search on MSF for females aged 29, turns up a bunch of hotties!! Where am I? PAGE 9!!! Aiyah... which guy is going to have the patience to look through 9 pages of hotties hotter than me?!?

You know what's disappointing? The standard of guys isn't as high as the girls :P *Plenty* of hotties for guys to pick, slim pickings for the girls in return. I mentioned this to a couple of girls at work, and one of them is starting to wonder if I'm gay since I'm searching for chicks *grin* "Whatever floats your boat hunny!"

Hrm, technically the gay gene _does_ run in my family... I could be the first family bi ;)

Strings attached

A break from travel posts.

It's been about... 3 years since I've had a mentor of any sort. Usually the shoe's on the other foot, and I'm spieling off my random advice on how to approach challenging situations. Lately, I've been *really* struggling to deal at work. I know my target, I know how to deliver, but orifice politics and a general lack of communication in a huge global company has just gotten me down. So I nabbed my ex-manager and escaped for a half hour coffee chat. I made him tell me all his happy stories first :) Then I dumped all my crap on him *grin* Everything since he'd left. Hey, at least I waited for him to ask first! As he spoke me through all my problems, I started to feel a lot lighter inside. I felt like I had been lifted ten feet off the level of shit I'd been wading through lately to get a better view of the endgame. Then I was plonked back down. Still in the same shit, but at least now I was equipped with nose plugs and wellies :P

My ex-manager (XM) is on a roll, and asks, "So what else you got?"

I blurt out, "I got dumped by a boy last night".

XM: "What?!? Did he take you to an expensive restaurant?"
Me: "No, he took me to a pub."
XM: *crinkles his nose* "He didn't do it the right way then."
Me: "What on earth is the right way for that sort of situation??"
XM: "He should've taken you to a really nice, expensive restaurant."
Me: "Why? So the girl thinks everything's going really well just before he stabs her in the back and twists the knife in?" (I do some knife stabby motions with my hand for emphasis)
XM: "NO. It's so you won't make a scene!"

I burst out laughing... It's what I needed to hear to bring me out of the fog. I file the tip away for next time ;)

Me: "Wait till your daughter grows up and goes through all this with BOYS."
XM: "She won't, I'm sending her to Antarctica."
Me: "I hear there are some really good convents there run by penguins." *grin*
XM: "Have a biscotti."
Me: "I'm on the Rejection diet - liquids only."

Being dumped is never easy. Being friends after is harder. I've tried. It's never worked because the guy always does the wrong thing and skews the balance. It's hard enough for me to look at that person and not *feel* stuff. So I don't put myself through that emotional wringer anymore :P What's really helped, is the support network I've had :) The friends who took me to the pub and ordered me doubles while we talked.

I know it seems ridiculous to be upset after such a short time since first date, but... I underestimated the strength of strings attached. Cutting them off still hurt. The worrying thing is, even though each circumstance has been different, I'm starting to see a pattern.

Do I regret selling my booty online? No :) It's still a great way to meet people. It's just sometimes, I still wish I could forget easily.

Please don't leave comments on this post. I don't want this to be a "Sympathy for Reenie" or "Man Hating" thing. Don't email me about it either. It's not what I want to hear.

reenie$ rm -f *.booty4sale

*scrub* *scrub* *scrub*

Midgets & Giants

I've been selling the online dating concept to anyone who'd listen lately *grin* Mainly because I know there's still a huge stigma attached to it within my circle, and I still think, for those who complain they never meet new people, this is an easy way to do so.

So, a friend of mine is trying out a different online dating website called Match. Out of curiousity, I used my friend's login to check out some of the profiles to see what the differences were between MSF and this one, which is also quite popular with Rondoners. Well, Match goes into a LOT more detail on what you're looking for in a person. It also shows that there are a lot of people out there with midget and giant fetishes. Check out the height requirements I've come across on some of the profiles:

*lol* These are obviously fields which have to be selected, so people _must_ have thought about this before saving their profiles. Which brings me back to my business case for a fetish brothel with midgets... Wait, have we had that conversation on my blog yet? Doesn't matter, cause next time I talk about my fetish house of ill-repute, I'm adding a level of giants to the suite ;) I've got my eye on PdF...

Shuai, this post is dedicated to you since you called for more "booty4sale" crowd pleasing posts (and not because you're a midget or giant fetishist) *grin*

I was worried

A Chuck Palahniuk reading? I had bought 2 tickets on the assumption my date would say, "yes". Usually, I would've gone on my own because these days, I get a variation of one of the following responses from people:
- "Chuck Pala-who? Sorry, don't know him."
- "Tuesday?!? Are you kidding? That's a school night."
- "Tired/Working..."

All fair enough reasons. Everyone has their own lives, and time is precious enough not for me to intrude on. But come on! It's Chuck Palahniuk! Author of "Fight Club"! I still remember taking a day off work to watch it with Cassie! That Chuck Pala-who! So I took a chance and asked Frisbee Date to come with me. I'm glad I did :) I think it's the only date we've been on that I've organised so far *grin* So yeah, I was worried about putting a good date on!

Ok, to sweeten the deal, I did throw in a Hache burger for dinner. Which was a little soggy by the time I delivered it, because it absolutely PISSED DOWN on me while I was on my way to the venue :( Coincidentally, I errr, was also wearing a white top with no bra on. Oops... At least that would make any guy happy on a date :P Fear not, I had a cardi to wear over it :) I'm not that much of a floozy :P

Chuck Palahniuk started the reading by having a blow-up doll blowing up contest with the audience. That's pretty unique :) Contestants got to keep the personally autographed blow-up doll. I would've made more effort to get a doll if Frisbee Date wasn't with me *grin* Chuck did a reading of Loser (clicky here for parts 1 & 2 on youtube), and he's got a story-teller's voice. To be honest, I've read quite a few of Chuck Palahniuk's books, and none of them are that memorable. However, to see him live, he's very engaging. I came out of that reading wanting to read more of his books! He's filled with anecdotes and I think that's part of what makes him so interesting. He kept my attention for that hour. Very impressive these days because I have such a short attention span. So if you get a chance, go see him.

Yes, things with Frisbee Date going well. Until he reads this post ;)

Frisbee Date

Date outfit: Black and red pinstripe skirt, black turtleneck & boots
(I'm at least trying to dress like a ninja :P)
Date location: Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese
(the hangout of Dr Samuel Johnson - author of the dictionary :) )
Date start time: Approx 7pm

Frisbee Date is so called because he plays Ultimate Frisbee :) See how clever I can be with names? *grin*

So where did I leave off? Aaah yes, the pint of PIMMS. PIMMS is extremely deceptive. Tastes all innocent and refreshing. It's actually quite lethal. Which is why, I almost broke my neck walking down the many steps into the sub-levels of the pub in my killer heels. I embarrassingly missed a few (big) steps a couple of times, which got me a few jibes from Frisbee Date throughout the night.

On to the good stuff, how did the date go? It was good :) I had a great time *grin* The pub's pretty cool, probably more a place to visit with a group of friends than a date, but still nice. We had a lot to talk about, and the flow of conversation never really stopped :) The night ended with him walking me all the way to St Paul's tube, and me accosting a random Romanian on the street to settle a bet between us. I lost 2p.

To be honest, I think I'd forgotten what it was like to be with a guy and just have a really good time hanging out. So, for me, that was worth losing the 2p ;)

What next? I don't know. Frisbee Date is a fun guy, and not bad looking either (Bonus: He looked like his profile pix) *big grin* Let's wait and see *grin*

Spark: Yup, tick!

Date end time: 11:15pm

Giant Machine

Sorry, you may have guessed by now that there are going to be a lot of posts regarding booty sales. I can't help but think about it. I'm the type that wants to figure out the solution behind the problem.

J and I were discussing the nuances behind online dating today. I, personally, think the following behaviour is inexplicable:
1) A guy "favourites" me, which means I can see that they like my profile.
2) In response, I'll send off an email with an "opener". For instance, in one case, a guy who favourited me mentioned that he had plans to travel to Latin America this year. So I sent him a message about what a great experience South America was, and how he has to make sure he treks Machu Picchu. In another instance, a guy who's an architect favourites me. So I sent him an email with an opening joke and then ask him what his favourite building is. Simple. It might've been a dumb question, but it's just a start to a conversation.
3) I get the silent treatment. I can *see* who's read my messages and at what date/time. Both of the guys mentioned above have read my messages. No response. It's been days. No response. Ok, maybe I wasn't very witty, but at least I made an effort. What absolutely bothers me, is that they've read my messages, haven't responded and STILL kept me on their favourites list! Wtf?!? Take me off that dang favourites list if I'm not good enough.

Here's what I deem the situation akin to. We're at an IRL ("in real life" for you n00bz out there :) ) party. A guy sees me chatting to my friends, having a good laugh. The guy winks at me. I smile, and make an effort to walk over and chat.

The guy blanks me. Walks away to the other side of the room, and keeps winking at me.

WTF?

Maybe my game is wrong. Maybe I'm doing this the wrong way. Maybe I just don't like playing games. Maybe the guy's winking eye is just plain twitchy.

So what I told J, is that I want a Giant Machine. Throw in a whole load of single people. The Giant Machine does a sort algorithm. Whirrrrrr... Ding! Out pops me and my perfect match. What's so wrong with that? J's theory is that if I don't try the whole load of single people input for myself, then I'm never going to know if the Giant Machine is wrong. I'm thinking, if the Giant Machine got it close enough, I don't need to know if it's wrong.

Coffee Date

Date outfit: Alanah Hill skirt, black Kookai shirt & boots
(Mysteriously similar to Work outfit *lol*)
Date location: Canary Wharf
Date start time: 6:15pm

I'm a little hesitant to write too much about the date. Let's just hope that those involved never find my blog. I'll try not to be *too* harsh... Or at least try to justify why I'm harsh :P

Coffee Date is so called because he doesn't drink alcohol. So what's left? Coffee. Remember what I said in my last blog post about, "Do profile pictures lie?". Well, put it this way, when I met Coffee Date, I was expecting someone a bit more polished and glossy - kinda like his profile picture :P It suddenly occurred to me that his profile picture was a professional headshot. He didn't look dissimilar, the profile pic just looked more... intriguing?!? So I was mentally taken aback with the real life version.

Lesson learnt: Avoid the profiles with professional pictures.

Why did I agree to meet Coffee Date? Because his profile implied he was artistic and involved in the theatrical industry. I thought, "that's cool, that's different". Truth be told, real life sucked all the glamour out of his profile. As I questioned him, I found out he's not really that involved in theatre. He's not even currently working in anything remotely related to theatre. He's closer to a starving wannabe-artist who wants to live in Italy.

Pah-paawnh (that's the sound of a retro buzzer)

Ok, he's not starving, but I definitely can't see him as being financially self-sufficient. There was definitely NO spark either. I think what disappoints me the most is that, he kinda lied on his profile.

Alright, so B pointed out that I lied in mine too. I'm not a ninja, but you know, I kinda thought that would be obvious. Other things I got caught out on:
Coffee Date: "Ok, you're not a ninja, but you do know some sort of martial arts?"
Me: "Errr, no, that was just J joking around."
Coffee Date: "What about that bit about back massages?"
Me: *inwardly cringing* "Sorry, that's J making a bad joke again. Heh... heh..."

As our respective coffees drained out, I ran through some exit strategies in my head. Inevitably -
Coffee Date: "What now, shall we move on for another drink?"
Me: "Err, nah, I think I'll go home."

Oops, I had wished for a subtler, gentler exit line. My brain failed me. Overall, I'm glad the first online dating experience is over :) It's still fun to meet new people. That's something I haven't done for a very long time.

Fingers crossed, better luck on spark next time!

Date end time: 7:30pm

Tummy gurgling

(I wrote this while I was waiting for Coffee Date to arrive)
=======
Not in a good way either. I've been having tummy issues for the past week. My biggest worry at the moment, is the possibility that I might let off gas with the same ferocity as the gale force winds currently messing up my hair - infront of Coffee Date. Not really the first impression I was hoping to make, but at least it would be a memorable one *grin*

Nervous? Yes. With emails throughout the day from friends-in-the-know and blog readers asking me when I was going to have coffee. With Sametime messages from J all day egging me on. With comments from a few girls in the office whom I've let in on the "secret". This has to be the worst kept secret ever!! :)

Wonder if Coffee Date feels the pressure too.

After all the fuss, I'm trying to lower my expectations. That way, anything good is always a pleasant surprise. Actually, I think this statement is more for my friends -> LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS PEOPLE! I've also warned friends to search the river for my body if I don't make it home tonight :P

I'm a bit worried that some of my married girlfriends seem more excited about online dating than I am! One even sent me the link to the Millionaires Club. You know who you are ;)

Know what I wonder? Do profile pictures lie? :) Do I have something stuck on my teeth? Sht, I forgot to check...

Reenie or Rockband?

As the rest of the crew play Rockband in the living room, I idled-out in my bedroom surfing the internets. One-by-one the girls trickle into my room. Each demand the same thing from me, "Show me who likes you on MSF!!!"

Errr, ok. So I go through the list of potentials:
"These two favourited me, but didn't reply my message" (as a result of this, I've decided to reply to any messages which are sent to me, cause it's a crap feeling when people don't reply)
"This is the one I forwarded to Becky as a reason why to say NO" *grin*
"Guess which one I'm having coffee with?"
"This is the one who's a bit geeky"

The girls have a good giggle over the list. Only one manages to correctly pick out tomorrow's coffee date :) I get useless advice on how to reject politely (thanks anyway girls):
"Just keep it short and sweet, thanks but no thanks!"
"Say you're not interested and he's too old for you!"

I get some creative tips on how to respond to some of the nicer looking guys who turn up in the searches :)
"Ooh, what about that one? He's looking for a twinkle in the eye. Send him your photo and ask him if he sees the twinkle!"
"He likes to rock! Invite him over to play Rockband!" *lol*

Every few minutes a yell comes from the living room, "HEY, IT'S YOUR TURN!"

The girl leaves my room, disappointed that she's run out of time to pick me another online suitor :)

What's the etiquette?

MSF lets people add me as their "favourite". I get to see who likes me. Some of these guys... err, I'm just not interested. This is going to sound pretty bad, but profile pictures play a part of my decision making.

MSF also lets people message each other - for a price. Which I've had the dubious pleasure of paying. 20 squids gets you messaging functionality for 3 months. Some of the messages I've received, are just... not very good. Eg:

"just had to say i think your photo looks stunning. if i could ever tempt you into doing something reckless like going for a drink stranger please let me know, meanwhile if you want to make sure that im not an axe wielding maniac my website..."

Ok, he seems fine, however, he's above the age bracket I set, and his message just didn't catch me.

So the question is, how do I reject people in a nice way? :P Am I obligated to say something if they just add me as a favourite? "Sorry, I don't think I'm good enough to be your favourite. Please remove me" *grin* Should I reply to the guy above with the boring message to be polite? "Thanks for the compliment, pity you're not a maniac because I have a spare axe. Guess we're not meant to be"?

The *Competition*

Edit 21/06/08: Oops, looks like I got it wrong. I've been told my profile moves upfront everytime I log in. So I just have to keep logging in :P

I'm not the only single 29 year old female in Rondon looking for love. Here's the competition:

Well the first page of competition anyway. There are many many more pages of girls who have the same search criteria as me!! The thing about these sites is, it's kinda LIFO. I think. If I remember my stack algorithm properly... That is, the last person who joins MSF, is going to be the profile displayed on the first page. So eventually, my profile is going to fall by the wayside... Doomed to ether oblivion. In fact, I just did another search, and - I'm no longer on page 1 of results! Told you - that was fast.

This reminds me of job hunting on websites. Always make sure you upload your CV on a regular basis. The same thing happens. Newest CV will always pop up first in search results.

Booty 4 sale (Part ii)

We have a weiner!!!

John has this to say about Shireen:
"Ah... the lure of the exotic far east... warm tropical climates, breathtaking landscapes, rich culinary delights and of course who could forget about the women. Petite, vibrant, vivacious and even a little mysterious... That's before mentioning the many varied dishes they can cook, the brilliant massages those small feet walking on your back can give and that they know kung fu and can protect you on a night out in town!

But, before you go thinking that you're going to be able to spend every* night on the couch consuming Chinese delicacies and having your back walked on, you may want to know that our Shireen is quite the traveller, loves to party and is quite keen on keeping up to date with the latest gallery around town. If you're the kind of person that likes to sip cocktails at funky bars during the week, try a new restaurant here, see a new movie there, take a trip to the countryside or go on a weekend o/s city break... then Shireen could certainly be your partner in crime.

Our gal is a city professional and can hold her own on many a varied topic, always approached with a smile and a touch of humour. Having worked within the IT sector Shireen is an avid supporter of a digital life and you won't find her eyes glazing over as you talk about the features on your latest phone. Similarly you won't have to go hiding your guilty secret love of any geeky 80's cartoons you may harbour... and I'm sure she could be convinced to have a lazy night on the couch watching a dvd box set of 24, CSI... (although there maybe a payment of chocolate involved dependent on the dvd!).

I should also mention that our lass is a genuine Australian gal with an oriental background, so along with all the exotic cooking and back massages she is a warm, friendly and fun loving with a laid back attitude who has a love of life and the people in it.

That's enough from me, time to pass over to the lady in question..."

to which Shireen responded:
"Thanks John!

Yes, I'm a qualified ninja who likes to take a break from assassinations with a glass (or three) of vino, preferably to some cheesy background tunes and some cheesy conversations about everything and nothing. As an Aussie girl, I'm always on the lookout for a patch of sunshine in cloudy London, and am trying to substitute chilling out at beaches with chilling out at parks!

Promise to wash my feet first before giving any back massages ;)

PS: No need to buy those pesky DVD box sets, I'll teach you how to download :P"

*lol* Before anyone asks, yes, JOHN _is_ a real friend of mine :) Yes, he did come up with that profile without any help from me :)

I would like to thank all who participated, if anything, I really enjoyed reading what you had to write about me *grin* If you're curious, here are the runner ups :)

=== First Runner Up ===
A pocket dynamo of life and free of commitments
Has a laugh that brings the sun out on a cloudy day
Happy to wander with the breeze
Someone to share a beautiful sunset with
Coffee till early hours of the morning
A friend who'll be there till the very end

You'll need love your culinary delights
Loves the food, paella, seafood, and Michelin hats
Ask her for her Hai naan chicken rice
Saves all prawn heads for the real deal laksa

Try to pay the bill and prepare for a fight
Keep your money in or she'll really bite
We all call her too generous for her own good
You'd be a lucky man to have this girl in your life

Can club all day and all nite in search of the ultimate buzz
Keeps trim to jam longer into the night in Ibiza
Party with you till the dawn of day
She'll care for your needs if you've overdone the play
Makes chicken soup the next day if your head feels like crap

Slave to the anything with an Apple blazened on it
Shes a nerd but she knows it
Loves the 'net so you better have Gchat
You better love your gadgets if you wanna stay with her
Her latest thing is Supercars so it helps if you have flash wheels

Loves cuddles in the morning and makes eggs if your a good lover
But you have to be a gentleman if you want some mornin lovin
Hometown of Sydney but out loving life in the world
She is the oriental in Rondon

=== Second Runner Up ===

Shireen is that person who you always run into - at clubs, festivals, dinners with friends, foreign countries... and everytime she's got a big smile, is happy to see you and is enjoying herself! Despite all this, she somehow manages to devote time to her friends and fit a job in there somewhere.

=== End entries ===

Aaah, the game has begun *grin*

Booty 4 sale (Part I)

That's right, I'm putting my booty up on the online market. Deep thinking about past experiences has made me realise that I need to meet more people, and I deserve more than creeps or twats. The dating website I have in mind is called www.mysinglefriend.com (MSF). I always thought it would be a good idea to "date a mate's mate". That way, the person is at least partially vouched for by being someone's good friend, right? Errrr, right.

How MSF works is that a friend has to nominate me by submitting a profile for me. I get to approve or reject the profile, and add my own repartee. So one drunken night (*sigh* I've become a bit of an alco, drinking wine on weekdays!), I sent out an email to a few of my homies:

"I would be honoured if you had the time to write a profile for me. Of course, it's almost like a competition and I'll pick the best one *grin*"

The next morning, the first thing I thought was, "SH*T. Did I really send that email?!?" A quick check of my sent box confirms I did. My next thought was, "SH*T. Who did I send it to?!?" I skimmed the headers. I sent it to ELEVEN people. Aiyah... Still. What's done is done.

I was curious to see what replies I would get. Here are the entries so far:
=== Entry 1 ===

What are you asking to do? U want me to write a desc of you and email it to you? :P

Shes SHORT!

Me thinking: "Oh good. People are going to think I'm a midget."
My reply: "Lousy p1mp... You're out of the running!"

=== Entry 2 ===
Summary: super fun loving, a bit independent, well travelled and loves a debate
Attached: Picture of me eating a deep friend chicken wing

Reenie, to my eternal frustration, is always the first person willing to pay for the table and the last one to ever accept someone paying for her. Her generosity is unmatched.

She's someone I love to talk to, her willingness to speak on any topic, try any new experience and go to any place makes her a source of wonderful stories. Ask her about the hot black guy.

Oh yeah, she makes a mean Hai Naan Chicken Rice!

Me thinking: "OMG, I'm going to attract a fat black guy who likes to eat but doesn't like to pay!!!"
My reply: "That's like the worse picture ever!"
Mate's reply: "haha, at least it implies you eat :)"

*lol* I rejected the profile :P Not quite the public persona I wanted to project.

=== Entry 3 ===
NOTE: I WAS NOT TRYING TO RHYME, but i started so i decided to see where it went, and it went down the drain!!

an avid filmgoer and television fiend,
if its been on a screen, she has probably seen
unless of course it's considered mainstream
that's because it is shireen

oops, none of that was supposed to rhyme, but it just rolled that way...
so on I go

like her handle she is risque
she likes it that way
if you think that's okay
then write and say hey

soz, it's getting worse...

Me thinking: "That last verse makes me sound like a floozy!" :) But if you think that poem was errr, creative (apparently there's another 28 verses to go), further emailing led to this revelation:

My first idea was "she does not have syphillis, gonorrhea, chlamydia or bacterial vaginosis"... thats what i am reading about on the tube to and from work these days

*lol* I almost burst out laughing in the office. The only thing that stopped me was the thought of having to explain to my boss why I was laughing *grin*
=== End entries ===

There's still a couple more entries I'm waiting for. I'll keep you posted :P In the meantime, here's a ronery park feet shot from the weekend. To all you smug marrieds out there, I hate you :P