Splashing out

I've been surviving on premium apple muffins lately. So I was really looking forward to NOBU :) Verdict?

Urm... Majority of the dishes seemed too salty to me. And I usually take a lot of soy sauce in my diet. Sorry, it's probably not what you want to hear. Don't worry, I still ate everything on my plate ;)

Amuse bouche:

The signature miso black cod was great, but it left me hankering for Yoshii's delicate cedar smoked rudder fish.

Miso black cod:

Quality seafood produce. However, it's 70 squids for the omakase. I wouldn't expect anything less than quality. I'm looking at the pics though and still thinking, "Salty". It'd be interesting to try the 90 squids omakase to see the difference. Apparently, it's meant to be more traditional in preparation. However, for somewhere that's rated so highly for Japanese, I have to say I've had better. I wonder if this is what happens when renown chefs branch out and open so many restaurants globally.

Me: "As a souvenir, can you get the chefs to sign the sake menu for me please?"
(Waiter goes away for awhile)
Waiter: "Do you want the Nobu signature, or the chef's signature?"
Me: "Is Nobu here?"
Waiter: "No" (big smile)
Me: *lol* "Then not Nobu's. Please tell the chefs who prepared my meal I really enjoyed it and I would like their signature."

Bloody recruitment agents

In my inbox today:
===========
Subject: Get In Touch
Dear Shireen,

I would be grateful if you could contact me to discuss your career aspirations in detail as I am working on a vacancy for a client that I feel would be of interest to you.

Please could you either contact me on the number below or alternatively, email me back suggesting a convenient time, date and number for me to call you.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards,

*Recruiter Name Here*
Consultant
===========
I hate recruiters. They always screw you over. ALWAYS. Tonight, I'm feeling brazen. I've had an umeshu, 330ml of quality beer, and a large shot of sake aged 10 years. Here is my response:
===========
Hi *Recruiter*,

Here's what I would like to know. When I was unemployed and looking for a job, you contacted me and told me something along the lines of, "I can definitely help you out, I'll call you back".

You never did.

So. Why should I give you my business?

Cheers,
Shireen
============
Can you believe, this recruiter looked me up on LinkedIn and wanted to join my network? Yeah, like I'm that stupid to accept and let a recruiter view my contacts.

Awkward moment

It's close to midnight, I'm in a mini-cab on the way home from work. The driver is talkative. Name one cab driver in this world who isn't. The conversation veers. From work, to movies, to the inevitable - relationships.

The awkward moment arrives when the middle-aged married father-of-one cabbie divulges, "I have an oriental gf. She's in her 20's! I like oriental girls. She treats me well".

My eyeballs somersault. It always creeps me out when cab drivers say the words, "I like oriental girls". You'd be surprised how many times I've heard it. Hell, those words don't have to come from a cabbie. Any guy who says those words creeps me out. It's normally followed by a creepy knowing look. In the dark hidey corner of the cab, I scrunch down lower and pray the next words aren't...

"Do you have a bf?"

...It's soon followed by the routine questions. And the routine exclamations of surprise. "Single? YOU? Why isn't a nice girl like you dating a nice boy? It's ok if you want to play. You're still young. What? You're close to 30? You don't look it!"

As he drops me off, the "once I dated 4 girls at the same time" cabbie cautions me with these wise words: "You only live once! And don't trust any guy!"

Another movie list!

Top 50 Dystopian Movies of All Time!

Wa-hey!! Time to start queueing up some torrents :) Surprisingly, I've already watched the #1 on the list: Metropolis (1927). It was recommended to me by another film buff. It's a silent movie ahead of its time. Sadly, I kept falling asleep and only made it halfway before I gave up. Yes. I know. Short attention span :P

At #2 is A Clockwork Orange! WHICH, btw, I am going to get to see on the BIG SCREEN in a couple of weeks :D After that, I'm just waiting for the day The Shining gets a chance on the big screen again... *fingers crossed*

For all those Blade Runner fans, good news for you.

Eerily quiet

This is the main corridor in my office building:

Thousands of footsteps tred it everyday.
But today, it's covered with astro turf!

And it's all MIIIIIINE!!!
(Me to the Security Guard: "Come lie on the grass with me!")

iPod Touch

I got to play with one of these babies today:

It's slim, it's sleek, it's sexy... But my fingers are too fat to use it :P Well, for typing things anyway. T'was surprisingly difficult for me to type out a URL. Mm, overall impression? Nice, but... it's 200 squids for a puny 8GB and not that many extra features. How often am I going to get a free wifi signal? If I'm at home, I'm going to be using my Mbp. The 160GB iPod Classic is much better value at 229 squids. Yet it irks me to get the Classic since it's going to be obsolete... I'm currently lugging my Mbp to work, however, since the wifi got denied on my level, the Mbp has become an oversized mp3 player and calendar. It's pointless working on documents on my Mbp since USB sticks are blocked, and I can no longer transfer files to my desktop via email. I'm a little tired of taking my Mbp to work just for music :P Hrmph, must think about it.

The new Nano is, as I thought, pointless. Definitely not as sexy as the original version either.

Currently...

Missing my Mum :(

Strangely, she's the one reason I would consider going back to Sydnery for at the moment. 29 days sure seem to have went by pretty fast.

"That's not my ice-cream..."

"... it's Mum's!"
(says Dad as he steals a bit :) )

Tuy Lei Loh Mo

"Wow you really have an overblown sense of Asian insecurity. Maybe you'll get over it once you've gotten through puberty."

I personally don't get it. Cheap shot I say. And a cowardly one at that. No name, no contact, most likely a total random stranger. Friends would normally drop me a personal email, or at least put their name down.

Here I am, writing my thoughts. Putting myself out there. To gawd knows how many people. The thing that gets me is, YOU, know who I am. You've seen my pictures, you've read my entries, you've linked through to here via a mutual friend's blog. Rah rah rah. I've bumped into readers at a wedding before. So it really irritates me when I get comments like the above. Unjustified. Venomous. Faceless.

Am I insecure about being Oriental?

*shrug* Define insecurity. Do I claim the Oriental race is better than any other? No. Can I use an Oriental squat toilet? Sure can, I grew up with one. Am I embarrassed about ordering dim sum in my bad Oriental-speak? Not if it gets me my chicken feet (fong jaow!), spare ribs (pai-kuat!) and turnip cake (lo-bak-koh!). Do I find Oriental guys attractive? Strangely, no. That's probably not a big surprise to my friends. I don't know why, I'm just not attracted to Oriental guys. Closest I got was to an Eurasian, but that quickly turned to dislike when I realised he was a dick. Am I good at Physics? No, I almost failed. Do I like being Oriental? I don't know what it's like _not_ to be Oriental. I don't hate it, and I've never pretended to be anything else. Have I ever been bullied for being Oriental? I went to highschool in a distinctively white neighbourhood. What do you think?

Do I appreciate RnB? I did, but then I got through puberty :P (Thanks M ;))

A lot of the stuff I write, is personal. I'm talking about my experiences. My parents. My family. My friends. My travels. My life. Did I take a shot at the entire Oriental community? Not that I'm aware of.

*shrug* What exactly am I insecure about?

I _do_ have a small Oriental penis (it's called a clit) if you feel like empathising about insecurities :P

Number of times the word "Oriental" blatantly appears in this post: 12! *grin*

Parents

To all of you with kids out there, never bicker with your spouse infront of your kid. No matter how old your kid is. It still pains me to see my parents argue. I'm sure there's love, and I'm sure my parents would do anything for each other. I'm sure my Dad's just a grumpy old Chinaman. You can take the Chinaman out of China, but you definitely can't take the China out of Chinaman *sigh*

Or maybe it's just all men who behave like this :P There's definitely an exponential increase in stubborness and willingness to argue about anything as males age :P

It makes me think, gawd, what are my chances of finding someone who shares the same sort of passions and ideals I do? I really don't want to spend my old age sitting next to someone, not talking and watching wildlife documentaries on TV!

The other option is to spend my pension money on toy boy gigolos.

I still stand by my decision not to get married.

Rome

Where do I start?

How about the drive to Gatwick airport in a minicab at 4am. I've jumped out of a plane, leapt off a 40m tower, gone diving with sharks, and _never_ feared for my life before. Yet, at 4am on Saturday, I was gripping onto my aunt and muttering, "JESUS CHRIST! F*CK!", every few minutes. I could see the driver's eyes start to shut in the rear view mirror, and I honestly thought he was going to swerve into oncoming traffic a number of times. My aunt had to keep hitting him on the shoulder to wake him up. We eventually got there in one piece. I ended up lecturing the guy and swearing at him for putting my life and my family at risk. Fcker. Gawd.

Rome is diseased. I'm sorry to say, that the more time I spend in it, the more I hate its people. The city itself is beautiful, with lots to see. However, I've been three times, and each time, my experience with Romans just gets worse.

The first time was 6 years ago. My butt got scandalously abused. So much random pinching!

The second time was in 2005. That's when I started to notice that locals in Rome were evil. People are just motivated by greed. In one way, I feel sorry for the Romans as their city is a living tourist attraction. There are tons of annoying tourists everywhere. From morning to dusk. I can see why the locals would be pissed off at having their home invaded in this way. Yet, they've adapted, and figured out that the best revenge that can be taken, is to rip you off in any way possible. Which is how I ended up treating my brother to a gelato cone that cost EU$9, when the average cost is just EU$2! I'll never forget the time a local at the train station offered to help us out (with help we didn't need), then proceeded to boldly ask us for money.

The problem is, when you don't speak the language, it's really hard to argue. Most of the time, you're just shocked at the bill, and you just accept it cause it's easier than causing trouble. Which is how, this time round, we ordered a cafe freddo for EU$3, and ended up with this...

...THING...

... that cost EU$8.50 each!

This coming from a place that delivers to the Pope himself!

We were taken for a ride a couple of times during this trip, and only realised it too late when we thought about it more later. My Dad was even manhandled by some gypsies. If I never step foot in Rome again, it really wouldn't be a loss for me. It's not just culture that makes a city endearing, it's the people too. Romans, truly suck ass. In a really bad way :P

My Homer moment

It's been a tough couple of weeks at w.o.r.k. I get in early (enough to get a seat on the tube). I leave late(r than usual). My daily diet now consists of a double machiatto, a premium apple muffin, a "skinny milky tea" (it's what Engrish girls order), and if I'm really desperate before I get home for dinner - a vending machine snack.

I was reaaaally desperate yesterday. Then this happened:

The vending machine starts beeping at me, and I let loose an internal scream, *RRRRAAAARGH*... and start pounding on the glass. Give. Me. My. CHIPPIES.

Then I realise where I am, so I sheepishly stop, make a new selection and walk away hoping nobody saw.

To-doo-dooo-dooo...

Mai tan!

Me: "Daaad, you can't say that in France! It's L'addision!"
Dad: "Why not? This is a Vietnamese restaurant."
Me: "Yeah, and they speak French and Vietnamese!"

Strangely enough though, the waiter understood and brought us the bill. I suspect it's because my Dad also did the universal hand signal for, "bill please" ;)

Paris with my parents turned out better than I expected :) My Mum would be silly with me, and my Dad... he's the one responsible for my sense of humour *grin* My favourite moments were watching the Aussie vs Wales rugby match infront of Hotel de Ville with my Dad, and making my Mum pose for me in a beret *grin*

My Dad's snap-happiness:

My Mum's favourite French icon:

And check out what someone did to this poor dog!

Lip smacky noises

I fcking hate it. That *smoooch* *smoooch*, wet lip smacky noise. Lately, I'm surrounded by it. It's early morning and packed in the tube. I have nowhere to turn, and there's a couple making out infront of me. I feel like throwing up. On them *UGH* I'm on the Eurostar, I'm stuck infront of a couple making out, my Shuffle is out of battery *BLEAGH* I'm in line at a restaurant, guess what? Yup, there's a Parisian couple making those noises again. It doesn't sound any better when French people do it :P

People. Try to keep your lip smacky noises down! I don't know what it is about the sounds, but it's so nauseating. I'm tired. It's a lot of physical exertion on my part to restrain my eyeballs from rolling back into my skull.

Braaaaains...

Remember how I mentioned caucasians cringe at orientals eating chicken feet? WELL, I was cringing whilst watching the Frenchies buy this at Marché Bastille:

I always thought it was just a zombie delicacy *grin*

It's hilarious hanging out with my parents in an European city. Especially with my Dad. He has a way of finding the Malaysian/oriental equivalent for whatever he sees. So paella, becomes nasi lemak, and churros becomes yau ja gwai! *lol* I thought it was going to be difficult finding food for my Dad to eat in Paris. Luckily, there's a great Viet area around Place d'Italie, Avenue d'Ivry and Avenue Choisy. That's a tip for any other orientals taking their strictly "oriental food only" folks to Paris :P

Grand bowls of Pho *MmmM*

Thanks Ms K, for pointing me in Le Bambou's direction :) It was packed and we had to wait awhile, and the restaurant manager was laughing at us cause we couldn't speak Viet or French, but it was also dang good Pho :) Just how good is this restaurant? Well, it makes the owner rich enough to be able to afford lots of jade bling. I'm talking BIG jade bling. Doesn't come cheap.

The next challenge, is trying to find food my Dad will eat in Rome next weekend. That's going to be trickier.

In my inbox

"Subject: Your cv
Hi Shireen

Having found your CV on jobsite I wanted to let you know that I do not have any immediate vacancies to suit you but we will begin our search.

In the meantime I would like to invite you as my guest to an excellent seminar which will definitely improve your chances of success at your next interview and help you negotiate a higher salary.

Two tickets to this event are normally £1,790, but you can attend completely complimentary as my guest - this is my gift to you. If, after reading, you need additional tickets just go through the enrolment process again...

http://champions.universalevents.com.au/ukbts.asp?cli=CLO2041158"

*lol* Is this... a trapezoid? :) I know I shouldn't be so cynical, but... Come on, if this seminar was worth going to, it wouldn't be for free :P You don't see Clinton giving away tickets to hear him speak. And his tickets were a lot less than 850 squids! "My gift to you"? Who exactly is this David from Alternative Direction? Click on the link above and, _could_ the webpage be anymore sickening in its sycophantic choice of words?

"Congratulations, you are reading this page because you are part of the elite minority of people committed to success and achievement... YOU …are part of a select group of people who have been invited to take part in the acclaimed, 3 day Breakthrough to Success - Wealth and Power weekend seminar … with international accelerated human change expert, Christopher Howard"

I'm part of the elite minority committed to success and achievement? I guess everyone else strives to be a loser *grin*

What the hell is an accelerated human change expert? If I go in to this conference, do I evolutionise and come out with a third breast? *grin*

Happy Birthday Mum!

I watched my parents at dinner. I love the fact that my Dad will always pick a juicy bit of crab or lobster and deshell it for my Mum. I love how my Dad, for the first time in all his life, opened the car door for my Mum tonight *lol*

My parents, don't openly show affection in public. I've only ever seen my parents hold hands once. So it's really cute when things like the above happens :)

Angry fat men are not delightful to deal with

'Nuff said.

High tea @ The Lanesborough

Best cakes and scones I've had at a high tea so far... I also introduced my parents to clotted cream :)

Speakers' corner

Dad: "I was going to speak at Speakers' Corner, but there was a looong queue. Didn't have time to wait because I had to meet you."
Me: "That's ok Dad, I'll book you a slot for next weekend."

It was quite a surprise when we got out of high tea around 6pm, and Speakers' Corner at Hyde Park was still going strong. I've always wanted to hear the ranters :) Public speaking is not my best ability. In fact, I had to do a presentation last week to a whole bunch of HR people. I swear, I could hear crickets scratching at the end of it :P So I was impressed to see such a large crowd gather to hear what a total random stranger had to say.

That is... until I realised, I couldn't understand a word of what was being said :P Strangely, the ones drawing a crowd were speaking in Arabic. I asked someone for a translation, and was told, "This man is from Egypt. He is saying, Egypt is the best country. Better than all the other Arabic countries". Hrm. Fairly mundane topic, but I guess that would explain why there were a lot of Arabic men arguing with him. I was hoping for something a little more controversial, like about the conflicts in Iran or Iraq.

The only English speaker I could hear, was ranting about Jesus. What's new eh?

So, kinda disappointed by Speakers' Corner, but at least now I can mark it as "done" on my Rondon to-do list.

Heritage

One of the positive things that have come out of my parents' visit, is the tidbits of info I get fed about my family history. My grandma has two names. My grandma's brother had three wives, two of whom were jealous of my grandma. My grandpa's brother cheated the family with dealings on the chicken farm. My Dad sold eggs from the chicken farm. My Dad was born in a hut. My great-grandpa owned a small grocer shop but was stingy. Everything was lost during the war. Great-grandpa was an opium addict. My grandma pawned her jewellery to afford food for the family. My grandma caned anyone who slept in past 8am. My grandpa caned anyone who didn't do well at school.

Different times.

I love my parents, and I love having them here, and we joke lots (loudly, in Chinese, mainly about our bowel movements, the Pope, and the Queen). However, at the same time, they're driving me nuts :P NUTS, I tell you, NUTS. Yet, I look at them, and realise that so much of who I am comes from who they are, and how they've been brought up. So if you don't like anything about me, you know who to blame ;)

I think a lot about what sort of person my niece will grow up to be. Sadly, I don't think she'll get the same exposure to my culture and heritage. Not saying I'm an expert on all things oriental, if anything I feel like I've missed out on a lot. But at least I had a chance to experience some of it growing up - temple visits, ancestry worship, gods & goddesses 101, oriental festivals... It'll be interesting to see the next generation of my clan grow up anyway.

Different times.

Cheating

From this:
(Turnmills membership photo 2006)

To this:
(Simpsonize Me)

Hehehe... So ok, the original pic of me is a year old. I found myself adjusting and picking features until I looked like how I wanted to look, and not necessarily like how I look like right now *sigh* It's a little soul crushing that it's possible for me to look hotter in a 2D cartoon than in real life :P

Maybe I should add a barrel to my wardrobe...

Thanks Lil, for the Friday link!

Size queen

I don't get it. Pretty it may be, but do I really want to watch "two movies back-to-back" on a 2-inch screen? :/ I'm squinty enough as an oriental...

I'll stick to my 15.4 inch MBP display :P

Guess how much?

I hate having cravings. Especially expensive ones. Guess how much these 6 teeny weeny pieces of salmon and tuna sashimi set me back:

£10.30

YUP. 10+ squids. I couldn't help but convert to Aussie dollars. That's about AU$25. For AU$25, I could have a fcking feast at Makoto sushi train in Sydnery with my cuz. It'd be a lot better too. Don't get me wrong, Japan Centre's Toku restaurant is great. It's as close as I'm going to get to decent Jap without going one level up to fine dining. Only, it's so dang expensive for what you get. I also ordered Umeshu (5 squids for 50ml!) and green tea ice-cream (stingy 1 scoop given only). Total of bill would've been about 20 squids IF I didn't have some discount card stamps with me. I still ended up paying about 12 squids. Dang it. It really bothers me. I don't understand why good Japanese is so hard to find here. Gawd I miss Ichi-ban Boshi. MMmm, unagi zara... *lustful sigh*

MEN

Apparently, when guys are 20-something, all they can think about is sex. A short skirt and tights, that's all it takes. All they want to do is, have sex. So that's why it's ok for 20-something year old guys to cheat. Because at that age, guys just want to have sex. It doesn't mean anything when they cheat, cause it's _just_ sex. Then suddenly, when a guy hits 30-something, all they want is long term commitment. So cheating isn't ok anymore. One day it's fine to cheat, the next day it's against his principles.

MEN :P

It's NEVER ok to cheat!! IMHO :P Yer can look, but just make sure you know which beehive to get your honey from. Is that a bad analogy? :) I swear, the number of times I've had guys try and explain to me the whole "guys just want to get into your pants" mindset, and I still don't understand it. What's the big deal? Can't we just talk? :P Guys - you're sooo one dimensional sometimes! And demanding.

I can't remember what I was talking about one day with a couple of blokey mates, but the topic was enough to incense me to declare, "THAT'S IT. I'M DOING A SURVEY!"

Bush or no bush?

From bars and clubs, to Ibiza parties, to random drinks with random guys. Months of hard research - the answer is unanimous...

No bush.

What. Don't act surprised. YOU expected it all along. YOU can't fool me. I've had one guy tell me he'd turn away a hot chick if he found out she had bush!

There _is_ a (very) small contingent that will say bush. However, their logic behind it is that they don't want to feel like a paedophile :P

MEN :P

Reverting to childhood

6:25am (5 mins of snooze time left before my alarm goes off)
Dad: "Girlie, wake up"
Me: "Mmmffffmmm"
Dad: "Mum, you better wake Girlie up"
Mum kicks me
Me: "MMMMMMPPHFHFFFFF"
Dad: "Girlie, it's time to wake up!"
Me: "YES DAD"

I'm 7 years old again. It's time to wake up and get ready for school... At least this time round, I can avoid the yucky half-boiled egg slime for brekky :)

Daliborus

I think what I loved most about working for PwC Consulting, was the people I met. It definitely wasn't the work. It definitely wasn't the crap salary. It was the great people. One faithful night in Tampa, I couldn't sleep, so I did the usual - I baked. I baked a looooot of cakes when I was in Tampa. But this one was special. This one was a chocolate mud for Anna's birthday :) This one, won me Daliborus' eternal friendship *lol* Thus began my education on The Man Show, hippos versus elephants and rhinos, the joys of a good booty, and... erm, other stuff that can't be mentioned on my blog *lol*

Over the years, there are only a few left that I still see from the "good ol' days". And if I'm really lucky, I get a visit from one in Rondon :) If I'm REALLY REALLY lucky, I even get not one, but TWO jars of his Mum's homemade apricot jam! :D *drooool* Guess what I had for brekky this morning, Daliborus? ;)

M&D

A continental brekky at Le Pain

M&D flew in last night, and although I spent the first night on the sofa bed, Mum kept insisting I sleep in the same room. So here I am. I think the last time I slept in the same room as my parents, I was about 12 years old. I feel 12 again :)

Only this time, I'm prepared...

1 x pair foam earplugs!

My Dad's in denial and blames my Mum. The truth is, he's been snoring up a thunderstorm for the past few decades! As males get older, the snoring gets louder. Weird but undeniable truth of life. Chubby never use to snore when he was a puppy :P

It's funny being in Rondon with them. It doesn't matter that I'm 28 years old, I still want to do _everything_ right by them. I'm worried about what to feed them, what to show them, where to take them, whether my room's clean enough for them! I'm a slob. I'll admit it. I wallow in my own mess. Even now, the mess hasn't really been cleaned, it's just been shoved under the bed *grin* BUT, I did vacuum and mop AND, most hated chore of all - clean the toilet! No complaints from M&D about my cleanliness so far *phew*

I did try and broach the topic of my latest tattoo with my Dad.
Me: "Mum, did you tell Dad about my tattoo?"
(Yeah, I've been too chicken to tell my Dad. I was hoping my Mum would do it for me :P )
Mum: "No, but your brother started talking about it, and I gave him looks. So I think Dad knows, but he didn't ask."
Me: "Oh..."
*Later on*
Me: "Dad, erm, do you want to see my new tattoo?"
Dad: "YOU ARE COVERED WITH TATTOOS! DON'T KNOW WHY YOU GET THEM!"
Me: "It's only two!"
I've taken Dad's response as a sign of, "better not go there" :P

Time to test those earplugs out :)

Cowgirls

Hehehe...

Happy 0.375 year anniversary, U&W! ;)

Long weekend

For the first time in a week, the sun finally peeked through, and the rain clouds disappeared. Thank gawd. I was about to spend the day outdoors at SW4 :P As much as I love Paul van Dyk, it really wouldn't have been that much fun if it was raining on me during his set. The pic above is of the massive line to get into SW4. Single file, people pretty much circled the park to get into one entrance. I think I stood in it for at least half an hour!

SW4 reminded me a lot of my last Field Day actually :) Just with a lot more DJs.

Bosom buddies *grin*

Wazzz with the munchies:

Bonding with my tattoo buddy:

Dodgy orientals

I love my "Fong Jaow" ("Phoenix Claws", the fancy name for "chicken feet"). It's funny when I go to dim sum (the British name for yum cha) with a caucasian crowd, and they always make fun of "Fong Jaow". It's like the biggest challenge to eat something like chicken feet. But I love it. Fresh from a steamer. This though, I wouldn't touch... Chicken feet preserved in gawd knows what, vacuum packed in plastic, and sold in an oriental supermarket as a snack.

*Bleargh* It looks so bad:

It's also quite a worry when you're eating at a restaurant and the menu plugs one of its selling points as, "Excellent Hygiene". Excellent hygiene? Shouldn't ALL restaurants have excellent hygiene? Is it something that needs to be advertised? Should I be worried that the restaurant has to be explicit about its hygiene standards?!?

Well, all I can say is, I had a really bad tummy the next day :P It could've been the prawns, it could've been the chilli oil. At least I can rest assured that it wasn't because of poor hygiene :P

Youth crime

Youth crime is pretty scary in the UK. It's scary to see headlines like, "11 year old shot. First pictures," on evening papers. It's scary to read about young teens getting killed in their own bed. If you're not safe in your own home, where can you go?

An 11 year old, walking home after playing football, gets shot by a youth aged 13-15. When I was 13... I was worried about doing well in school, making friends, gawd knows what other trivial sht. Where does a 13 year old get a gun from? Why would a 13 year old think of shooting someone? It scares the bejeezus out of me.

Kids in the UK, they're... different. It makes me feel old to say, "Kids these days, have no respect". Not for their elders, not for themselves, not for anyone else. A lady sat down next to me on the bus the other day. She pulled out her mobile and called her mum ("HIYA MUM! ARE YOU OWRIGH?"). From her very loud conversation, I found out that she herself was a mother of a teenage daughter. The daughter wizzes with the toilet door open. Doesn't wash her hands. Goes into the kitchen, touches everything and makes herself tea and a snack. Apparently she does this all the time.

When I was young, if I ever did anything like that, my Mum would've smacked the crap out of me. Although my Dad never laid a hand on me, my Mum was never afraid to pull out the rattan feather duster for a good caning. If I did something to deserve it. My brothers apparently use to get chilli rubbed onto their lips. Kinda backfired, my second brother grew up to be a bigger chilli addict than I am :P

The lady next to me, all she did was, tell her daughter that she should wash her hands after coming out of the toilet. Her daughter apparently gave her "a look" and ignored her. End of disciplining.

o_O

I'm not trying to enforce child abuse :P But... Come on!!! Instill some fear into your kids :P

The lady next to me then spent the rest of the trip justifying to her own mother why she had to "have a word" with her daughter about hygiene.

O_O

How do kids grow up like that? I just have no idea. I really don't want kids. Way too much time and effort to invest in kids. Especially when they turn out like that.

Star Trekking

Approximately 689 minutes later, one thing's for sure - Captain Kirk's waistline definitely expands with every movie :) Have to admit, he was pretty sharp looking in the original Motion Picture. Definitely not as sharp by Star Trek 7, especially up against Jean-Luc Picard! Now I understand why Ula had a thing for Picard ;) *grin*

You know, I'm sure the question's been asked many times before, but I'm new to this. Why-o-why, did they remove seatbelts from spaceships? They have warp drives, they have transporters, they have impulse power... But something as simple as seatbelts? Nope. Or just _anything_ that keeps them in their seat? Nope. I haven't watched a single movie out of the 7 yet, that hasn't had a scene where crew members are thrown around the bridge!

The whole reason I started watching the Star Trek movies is because I really thought Futurama's "Where No Fan Has Gone Before" episode was one of the best. It's probably too early to make Star Trek judgement calls since I have another 3 more movies to finish watching *groan* Getting there. But out of all the movies starring the original Star Trek crew, I'd have to say "Wrath of Khan" is the best. With Khan's moobies deserving a special mention. Followed by "Search for Spock". "The Voyage Home" is hilarious just cause Chekov really does keep saying, "nuclear wessels" (as piss-taken in Futurama) *grin* And I burst out laughing when Uhura did the fan dance in "The Final Frontier" :)

It's actually a lot less painful than I expected watching the Star Trek movies. I was tempted to delete all of them after watching the first one, which was just terrible. I'm glad I stuck it out :)

Some friendships...

... will always pick up where they left off.

Over time, the family of funny faces just gets bigger :)

I miss those days of $5 steaks, pool at Sharkies, wedges at Roofbar, lazy brunches and coffees. Quality time with mates *sigh* I can even remember my first D&M with KC about 11 years ago. We were on our way to the Matthews building :)

Good luck in NYC guys! Book me in for your couch (when you get one *grin*)!

Hey Wazzz

Come and get it *grin*

Needless to say, Wazzz didn't want to :P

MIA: 1 Cossack dancer

6 years out of sight and sound, and nothing's changed! You still banter like an old woman *grin* Glad we got to meet up mate! Even if you are a lousy date!! ;)

AP with his very girly "tulip" dessert:

LS said it best:

"Most people shouldn't drink and drive, you shouldn't drink and communicate :)"

Mm, does it count if I actually figured out that 1am Rondon time equates to 10am Sydnery time, and therefore, it was fine to send you a drunken message? :) I felt it was important to express my thanks for the RAM! *grin* I didn't think it was as important to spell correctly ;)

I really should get my internet and phone taken off me after a couple of beers though. Geez. There have been some doozies these past couple of weeks. I remember running up to a sports car filled with young arrogant pups (YAP) on Saturday night. It had wing doors, so it was either a Lamborghini, or a souped up Supra *lol* I couldn't tell :P

Me: "What do you do for a living?"
YAP: "Property development, rental estates..."
Me: "How much do you earn?"
YAP: "43,000 pounds per MONTH."
Me: (Dubious) "Do your parents have a lot of money??"
YAP: "No man! I'm a self-made millionaire!"

This boy, looked about 16 years old! Complete with giant diamond bling in his ear. Although, that could've been a cubic zirconia :P I think he was having me on :P No, I didn't climb into the car. I ran off and joined my mates to catch the N18 bus home :) All those Ferrari drivers out there, better watch out for the curious drunken oriental. I want answers!

Cons

Lately, I've been virtually bitten, and I wonder if it happens to other bloggers. I thought the whole point of a blog is to express your humble opinions honestly. On life. On love. On society. On human interactions. However, it's all online. There's the personal touch missing. If I were telling these stories face-to-face, it'd be over a coffee or a cocktail. It'd be a two-way conversation and you'd defend your view against mine. We'd laugh and get over it.

Somehow, when it's over the internets, it's different. I say things, and it gets misinterpreted. It gets misconstrued. Readers are offended. Don't get me wrong, the majority of feedback I've received on my blog, has been positive. Yet there's still that percentage of small disgruntled readers. To be honest, that percentage is probably small only because I have no idea my readers are disgruntled. It's only occurred to me recently that whatever I write, could be hurtful. Yet...

It feels wrong to me that I have to watch what I say on my own blog. Maybe I'm a little less tactful. Maybe I'm just predantic (AdF - ;) ) about certain topics. Whatever it is, I never mean to offend. And I do apologise for offending. Sincerely.

What brought this on? DG's emails to me. Yeah you, DG ;) And other conflicts that have happened recently.

I know I've been preaching about dancing skillz lately :P But, when you get down to it, orientals really can kickass on the dancefloor *grin* Link me to something better than what these guys can do.

Modern day robot at its best:

Algorithm dance with NINJAS:

You know, don't be afraid of telling me your PoV. I want to know. Email me, or comment on my blog. Personally, I don't believe in censorship. At the same time, don't take everything I write so seriously. Have a beer before you read my blog if it helps :P

Kubrick fan-gal

I love Kubrick's work. I might not understand it, but I still love his movies. I'm glad I went to watch 2001: A Space Odyssey at Somerset House. I was pretty close to skipping it. Having tried about 5 times to watch it on my laptop, I had given up hope that I could last the 141mins without dozing. I survived! Although I do remember Niffies nudging me at one point *grin*

There are scenes from 2001, which just blew me away. Watching it on the big screen was beautiful. I can't believe this movie was made in 1968. Man had barely ventured into space, with the first space flight taking place in 1961. Yet this movie, made me feel in such awe of space. I'm pretty amazed at how space is portrayed in this movie. But err, I still can't appreciate much from the "Dawn of Man" yelping monkey scenes :P

Now that I think about it, the ending of the movie had a familiar Matthew Barney'ish "wtf is happening" feel to it. I wonder if Barney got some of his inspiration for Cremaster from Kubrick.

One of my most prized possessions in Rondon, is a strip of frames cut from a 70mm print of 2001: A Space Odyssey owned by Kubrick. It came as part of "The Stanley Kubrick Archives" book which C gave me for my birthday last year. I definitely appreciate it a lot more now.

Somerset House is a great venue for open air cinema. Though next year, I'm bringing my puffy jacket and a thicker cushion. It's definitely not warm enough to sit around in a singlet top and flip-flops :P My arse was definitely aching by the end of it.

Paper

At about 2am today, my stomach retched and the ciabatta topped with Carluccio's sugo al funghi porcini came up. Unbelievably, this is the second time in my life that my stomach contents have wafted a porcini scent at me from the bowl. Traitorous stomach.

At about 9am today, SH jumped on me (hidden under my doona) in my bed, "HI BABE!!! OMG! ARE YOU NAKED?"

Shit. Indeed I am. Sometime between 2am and 9am, my clothes left me. Traitorous clothes.

It really doesn't take much these days. I think it was 3 vodka lemon limes, and a shot of Belvedere. Incidentally, a shot of Belvedere and a vodka with mixer will set you back at least 18 squids in Paper! I had to get the shot in order to cover the minimum spend before I could put it on my credit card. Traitorous cashless society.

To be honest, I was slightly disappointed with Paper. It'd been hyped as the place where celebs go to be cool. So I was expecting something big, flashy and ostentatious. I wanted Bling, Baby. Instead, I was faced with a ton of burly bouncers, a lack of seating space, and plastic chandeliers. AND, expensive spirits!!! Lucky I'm a cheap drunk. I drowned my sharply lowered expectations in vodka (obviously), and had a great time dancing to remixed choons from the early 90's :)

I also accosted a fierce looking black bouncer.
Me: *Tapping bouncer on his iron forearm* "Excuse me... Can I ask you a question?"
Bouncer: *Pulls out receiver from ear and leans down*
Me: "Have you seen any white guys on the dance floor that can dance??"
Bouncer: *Breaks out into a big grin*
Me: "No, I'm serious. Have you, in all your experience as a bouncer, seen any white guys that can dance?"
Bouncer: "You know what, I spend a lot of time watching. And I have to say they're improving."

Aaah, evolution...

We chat some more, about jazz clubs in Camden, about girls in Paper.
Me: "Do you pick up here?"
Bouncer: "I don't. The girls here, they're here for one reason. Everyone knows it."
Me: *Clueless* "What's the reason?"
Bouncer: "Money! A lot of people with money come here."
Me: "Really? I'm a bit disappointed with this place. It's small. Who's the most famous person you've seen here?"
Bouncer: "I've seen P.Diddy. Even Harry has been here."

Our conversation is cut short by another member of staff. Besides, the girls were giggling at me from the dancefloor.

To all my whitey guy friends, I don't mean you *grin* I wouldn't be caught dead with you in a club otherwise! ;) The dancing techniques in Rondon clubs though, is just shocking...

Plasticy goodness

This mini table will probably set you back 500 squids

How is it possible Niffies was still standing at the end of the night? ;)

VOLE? ELVO? OVEL?

Summer's here. Enjoy it while it lasts!

Sometimes, you hear a story, and it restores your fate a little in love, and finding your soul mate.

A guy, meets a girl at a mutual friend's wedding. They glance across the room at each other. 2 days later they were engaged. 3 months later they were married. Now they have 2 kids and are a happy young family. From the moment when they saw each other, they just knew it was meant to be...

So to my male drinking buddies last Friday night, who have never said the "L" word - I hope it happens to you and you find out what the "L" word feels like. Fingers crossed you're at the right place when the cosmic stars are aligned ;)

SWANS!

A seal yesterday, and 7 swans today!! There's either going to be an apocalypse with blood rain tomorrow...

... Or a dead body. It's the Thames, it could happen :P

It's a...

...SEAL! I swear!!!

It was sooo cute. I was eating my breakfast in the cafeteria, and it kept popping its head out of the river :) Dang cutie knew I was trying to take a photo of it though. Everytime I was about to click, it popped back down. I need a faster camera...