Commitment

If you want commitment, get a tattoo. There's no rollback once the needle sinks into skin.

Having a really big dragon on my back makes random strangers (mainly wasters in clubs) think they can reach out to touch it. It's irritating. I value my personal space and hate being touched by randoms. *Uggh* get your germy paws off me.

Having a really big dragon on my back also gets me some inevitable questions from people *sigh* Here's the FAQ based on my own experience.
1. Did it hurt?
Errrr, you don't have to know much about tattooing to realise a needle is used to permanently embed ink into your skin. Think about it, why _wouldn't_ it be painful? Of course it hurts!

According to How Stuff Works, tattoo artists use "an electrically powered tattoo machine that resembles (and sounds like) a dental drill. The machine moves a solid needle up and down to puncture the skin between 50 and 3,000 times per minute. The needle penetrates the skin by about a millimeter and deposits a drop of insoluble ink into the skin with each puncture."

Approx 3,000 times a minute... It's truly a masochistic experience.

2. Am I born in the Year of the Dragon?
No. Fair enough assumption to make, I guess. Since I'm oriental. But come on, I've grown out of cliches :)

3. Does it mean anything?
It's an ancient Chinese symbol carved into my back and blessed by monks (the kickass kung-fu type) when I was just 3 years old. When I cry out, "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!",the dragon materialises into life and eats my enemy. Inflicts Damage -201. Wah!

To me, it's a great piece of art. To my father it's a great piece of self-mutilation. When I was 22, I walked into a tattoo shop in Ybor City, fell in love with the design and got it. Of course, at the time, I was with some very concerned friends, who stopped me from getting it straight away. You know who you are, gals :P So I actually had to sneak out of the apartment, and do a stealth mission one night. To be honest, the dragon looked a lot smaller on the wall *lol*

4. What's going to happen when I grow old, or stop liking it?
This question REALLY annoys me. Fickle people. I'm not like you :P Don't do things that you're going to regret just because of age. When I grow old, the tattoo will still be there. Regardless of how it looks, I'll still love it because it's part of my history. If I don't love it, heck it's on my back and I can't see it :P

So why all this talk about tattoos? Cause... I have a confession to make. When I was 19, I got a really REALLY corny tattoo of a *whisper* blue rose on the back of my left hip *cringe*

My excuse is, I was 19! And like I said in Point #2, I've grown out of cliches ;) As an aside, if your kids ever want a tattoo, tell them they have to get past their teenage years first.

Why a blue rose? Oh you know, cause roses don't come in blue naturally, and it's therefore unique. Well, it _was_ unique until one of my best buddies who was with me, decided to get the same tattoo!!!! *lol* Ah well, it's touching that we have the same tattoo. Buddies forever.

That is, buddies until this weekend *grin* DM, you know I love ya (and I also know you don't read my blog, so hopefully you won't find out!) ;) I'll be honest, I don't regret getting the tattoo, but I've always thought it could've been done better. The tattoo doesn't even look much like a blue rose. My brother once commented that it looked like a weed :( So this weekend, I'm getting it fixed in Amsterdam! It's getting replaced by something else. That's assuming my Dutch tattooist remembers my appointment... He's a little slack on the email communication front :P

Excited? Yes, I am. How do I feel about the pain? Not good. Although the area is fattier above my hip than on my back, it still HURTS.

YAAA-TAAA!

9 people, stuffed with KFC, and now huddled around the Xbox and small TV - for the 19th episode of Heroes *sigh* Freaks :) Me, I'm hiding out in my room.

Peeking into the living room:

Aesthetics

Every now and then I check out the stats on my flickr stream. If I had to pick my favourite shot, I'd pick this one:

However, this pic has only been viewed 33 times.

There really is no accounting for tastes. This is the current winner for popularity with 98 views:

Followed by this shot of Richie with "Australia" branded across his cheeks, with 84 views:

More worryingly, I've been invited to submit the portrait of KY licking someone's buttocks to a group called "Random Body Parts"! What is this world's obsession with male buttocks?

Run away! Run away!

I'm officially in the Guiness Book of records for participating in the biggest coconut orchestra in the world! 4382 people showed up at Trafalgar Square to join in singing to "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" with coconuts *grin*

Do you _realise_ how long I've wanted a pair of clip-cloppety coconuts just like the ones from Monty Python and the Holy Grail? No? Well, ever since I saw the movie a few years ago, and even visited the Holy Grail castle in Scotland! So today, I left work at 5pm on the dot, and rushed over to Trafalgar Square to register and get my free pair of coconuts! :D

Even Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones made an appearance!

I do have a video of the event, but it's not uploading properly, and to be honest, it really wasn't that exciting *grin*

Huzzah! I have Monty Python coconuts! Run away! Run away!

Dutch people

... think they're soo funny. Wicky took this picture of me standing inbetween the grooms man and the best man. There's got to be some serious growth hormones in the water to make a nation grow that tall.

Looking "American"

While I was in Sydnery, Abercrombie & Fitch opened its Rondon flagship store on Saville Row. Saville Row! Wah. That's where the sugar daddies go to get their tailored suits. I'm talking, this is where you go to buy suits that start at a minimum of 2000 squids! Anyways, I visited the A&F store with T&D on Saturday. I was met at the entrance by a very buff, very topless, "clean-cut American" looking guy. Cue old lady next to me saying to her friend, "OH, I just found you your birthday present!"

*Bleargh*

Beside the very buff beefcake, stood a very skinny, blonde young thing. It didn't take me long to notice that most of the service girls in the store are very skinny, blonde young things. Well, it didn't take me long to notice once my eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the barely lit store. This store would make a great club. Personally, I found it frustrating that I could barely see the clothes. Once I started browsing, I noticed that clothes started at size 00. Size 00? I can see where this is going... So I tried on a size Medium singlet top, and lo-and-behold - I looked and felt like a heifer in it. Aaah, I guess I'm just not supermodel enough to wear these clothes. Well, it's a good thing, cause I can't afford these clothes anyway. It's 50 squids for a pair of cotton short shorts! This doesn't stop people from forming a massive line at change rooms or the cash counter. Believe me, A&F are easily making their rent on Saville Row. I sat outside the store and people watched for awhile. I saw husbands/bfs/fathers in BMWs/Mercs dropping off their wives/gfs/daughters outside the entrance. Oriental tourists have also jumped on the A&F brand wagon.

The thing that astonished me the most is how A&F are promoting their all-American-wholesome-look. I really do wish I had my camera on me. I'd never seen so many good looking sales people in one store before. Hrm, make that good looking and white sales people. According to this article, the sales team earns a miserly GBP$6.50 per hour. Wow, for that rate, I think I'll stick with non-glam IT job and my cheapie Threadless tshirts.

(I ripped this picture from the article mentioned above)

U&W wedding pix

... are up :) Clicky here.

Yummo

So, curious to know how many places on my Sydnery "Must Eat" list I managed to cross off? :)

Degustation @ Becasse with C (we scored free dessert! w00t!)
Ring Burner @ Burgerfuel with A&P
Vincisgrassi @ Buzo with Dave
Abalone @ Golden Century with my parents
Unagi Zara @ Ichiban with da gals and Shuai
Thai @ Sumalee with Yin*
Degustation @ Yoshii with C

Not bad. Also managed to fit in:
Pasta @ Alfredo's with da gals
Hotpot @ Masuya with KC
Brunch @ random cafe with KY
Laksa @ Malay Chinese Takeaway with Yin*

Best Meal: Yoshii degustation. Japanese Somen with Black Truffle - G.A.W.D. My eyeballs rolled back into my head. And the Steamed Kurobuta Pork Belly... to die for. Seriously the best pork dish I've eaten in a looong time. In fact, I can't remember a better tasting pork dish. Yoshii has definitely up'ed the standards when it comes to food. This was the meal that reminded me how happy good food could make me feel. Thanks C :)

I'd forgotten how huge Burgerfuel burgers are:

And I finished it all!!! Couldn't let the Altiris-now-Symantec boyz show me up *grin* Doofers are like the best invention ever.

Fruitiness

I was in fruity heaven in Sydnery. Screw those mini punnets of English berries! Give me kilos of fresh fruit variety!! The Brits really don't know what they're missing out on when it comes to produce. Giant rock melons, sweet plums, fuji fruit, longans... MMmmm...

Last post from Sydnery

I landed in Rondon exactly one year ago today. It was chilly, I caught a minicab and B met me at Daz's door. It was the start of my new life.

What a distant memory.

Coming back to my old life has been strange. Whilst it's been great catching up with mates over lunches, dinners, coffees and cocktails, Sydnery, no longer feels like home. Ruh roh. I'm not saying Rondon's where I belong, but it's a bit disconcerting having no ties to anywhere. My parents will always be here for me, but I'm definitely not ready to move back yet. Good thing my visa was extended :P

A part of me wants to move on from Rondon, another part of me thinks I haven't given it a decent chance yet. Let's see how the Summer goes and I'll do a review at the end of it. Ibiza here I come! :)

To all my Sydnery friends, thanks for being there :) It's meant a lot to me that you've made time to see me. And to feed me *grin*

To Craig S & Daniel G - sorry I didn't get to meet up with you guys. But there was never any confirmation on your part!! Hopefully see you in Rondon instead.

Guess who's?

And no, last Sunday wasn't a shotgun wedding *lol*

Congratulations to the happy parents :) I knew it!!!

Troo Wuuuuv

In hindsight, I should've warned Ula and Wilco about my last bridesmaid experience. My first time, I went to Malaysia to be bridesmaid for a cousin. I got the wrong colour dress to begin with (the bride wanted me in pastel and I just thought, "I'll get this dark lilac silvery dress instead cause I look good in it"). Then there was the drama of me getting my heel caught in the bride's skirt in the car and literally tumbling out of the car and onto the floor infront of her in-laws. Classy entrance. I did learn my lesson though, and made sure my heels didn't get caught in Ula's skirt this time round ;)

I must be the clutziest bridesmaid EVER. I thought I was doing well on Sunday... until I fell down the stairs at Ula and Wilco's apartment. I blame the heels, but to be honest, it was probably just me being uncoordinated and trying to carry too much - a garment bag, my overnight bag, Ula's overnight bag, Ula's bag with shoes, my own bag with shoes and my handbag. I'm freaking lucky that I didn't break my neck. Although the rubber ends of both my heels did go flying off. I managed to find them and whack them back into my shoes. Not the most elegant bridesmaid thing to do. However, I lost one of them again, and ended up clacking down the pavement at the ceremony.

Mental note, the most important things to have in your wedding emergency kit are safety pins (*someone* stepped on the bride's hoop and broke some tulle), and a hammer.

In hindsight, I also realise why I wasn't asked to do a speech at the wedding *grin* Maybe because the last time I did a speech for Ula, I got really drunk to gain the courage, and ended up groping Philo's (great) ass, Uma's (great) boobies, and kissing Ula's (great) lips.

So, to save myself from any lesbianish embarrassment this time round, I'll blog my speech to Ula and Wilco.

Ula, I've known you for at least 16 years, and I've even lived with you for a year. For that one year that I lived with you, I woke up every morning to the phone ringing at 7am, when Wilco called, and to your footsteps running down the hallway and past my door, to answer the phone. In those 16 years I've known you, I've never seen you happier than when you are by Wilco's side. I knew you found the right man when I saw you and Wilco together. Wilco is the one who will make you smile when you're down. The one who will be there for you when it counts. The one who will take care of you and put you first before himself. And the one who will love you for an eternity :) When Wilco said, "I DO", at the wedding, he said it loud and proud, and I'm sure the whole of Sydney could hear him.

Wilco, I've only known you for about 5 years, and although we've spent probably about a month together in total in the same city, you've become my Dutch big brother :) Ula was a bit stressed out in the bridal car about getting there in time to marry you *grin* I had to keep telling the driver, "Mate you have to drive faster!! The bride says we have to get there soon!" Ula wanted everything to be perfect, not just for herself, but for you too. Ula is the one who will always want everything to be perfect for the both of you. When Ula made the big move to the Netherlands to be with you and Krelis, even though she was allergic to cats, I knew that this was it, and that you were really special to Ula. I know in my heart, that Ula is your perfect match.

So this is what you've both proven to me, that true love really does exist. That true love doesn't let anything get in the way, and that true love overcomes all trials. Here is my toast, to Ula and Wilco, and to true love.

*clink virtual champagne glass*

PS: As the drunken bridesmaid, I ended up in bed with another girl ;) *lol*

Vanity

One year on, and my beautician is still filled with angst and outspoken comments ("I've had a terrible year. You look different, you've lost some weight"). Why do I keep going back to her? Because she still does the best eyebrows in Sydnery. Although I was a little worried that she kept ranting as she was plucking. I'd never experienced such energetic plucking before. Almost to the point where I was worried I wouldn't have any eyebrows left. I had to ask Yin* for confirmation that my eyebrows looked alright at lunch. A little bit too much on the archy side this time, I think. I look a bit like the Joker :P A lot of gals baulk at the amount of money I spend on my eyebrows. But trust me, people look funny when eyebrows are done wrongly. It's just like having a really bad haircut. Only, with eyebrows, you can't wear a cap to hide it :P

I'm getting vain with age. Well, maybe it's a good thing I'm putting more effort into skincare. I was almost refused service at Opera Bar on the weekend because I couldn't prove my age.
Me: "Vodka, cranberry, pineapple please"
Bar guy: "Do you have ID on you?"
Me: "Errrr... I have a big tattoo on my back, does that count?"
Bar guy: "I need to see your ID before I can serve you."
Me: "This is my second drink. And I'm 28!"
... and on and on...
Bar guy: "I'll take your word for it this time, but you need to bring ID with you."
Lady next to me: "What do you do to look so young?"
Me: "Vodka, cranberry and pineapple..."
From then on, Eleri made Ed buy my drinks for me *grin* Thanks guys! Love yous! *MUAH*

I really do wonder how old I'll be when I actually look 18...

Girls just wanna have...

...Fuh-un :)

Never again will I ever don a lycra catsuit...

Not mine

As you can probably tell from my awkward baby hold, this one, ain't mine *grin* I've never had a hungry baby suck at my neck before. Or spew milk down my back. Somehow, it's just cuter when the baby's blood related. Normally, I'd be like, "YAAARGH!", now it's all, "AWWWWWW...."

Nope, I'm still not feeling clucky. If anything, I'm panicking everytime little Sagey cries.
Me: "What's wrong? Do you want Mummy? Or Daddy? Are you hungry? Are you pooping? Am I holding you wrong? DON'T CRY!!!" *frantic helpless look at my brother and sis-in-law*

Aussify'ing meself

If there's one thing I really love about Sydnery, it's the cafe culture. Every cafe is unique, and Starbucks doesn't even feature on the list of options for "where to go". How was my day today? I started off with a mocha from Toby's Estate cafe, went to the gym for a run (I ran!!), and had brunch at a trendy Surry Hills cafe with my fave Muffin:

All before 12pm! Gawd, I love being able to sit outdoors in a cafe... My day's not over yet. I was dropped off at Coogee beach to catch some rays. I need a tan before the wedding! I didn't stay long though. It was a bit too windy to lie around in a bikini all day. But mate, look at this, it's SAND at a BEACH. Not pebbles!

The hardest thing for me so far, is the commuting between Blacktown and the City. I spend a shiteload of time and money on public transport here. As much as I love my parents and Chubbs:

...I can't imagine living in Blacktown again. This is one skanky neighbourhood. And oh, what's Australia without a few scary household spiders??

Mum found this fella in our living room. I can almost hear B scream :)

"Take care of my p*nis!"

The things that come out of Ula's mouth sometimes! Ula doesn't look it here, but she _is_ quite drunk... Drunk enough to wear a giant p3nis mask anyway. I'm sifting through my pictures, and some are even a little tooo risque for my blog *grin* I can't wait to see pix from the glamour photoshoot! To all the bridesmaids out there, I definitely recommend it as a Hens event. Thanks Di for the great idea!

First day back

What's it like? Well, it's... different. Not exactly good, but not exactly bad either. Just different.

For the first time in a year, I caught the train from Blacktown to the City. It was an express train and even then it took about 45 mins. 45 mins is a long time to wait when I'm used to 5 mins on the tube to get to Central Rondon. Looking out windows at suburbia and greenery, that's something else I haven't seen for a year.

Walking around Sydnery, the pace is a lot slower, there's a lot less people, and the thing I noticed is that people just aren't as fashion conscious *grin* Sorry. In Rondon you get all types, in Sydnery, everyone blends into the background.

Even jay-walking confuses me here. I'm so used to lights turning first red, then orange and finally green in Rondon. Orange means I have about 3 seconds to run across the road before cars start moving. Here, I forgot that I have to pay attention to lights facing traffic travelling in the perpendicular direction if I want to cross the road. It was just safer for me to wait for the green man in the end.

Good things? I met up with my brother for a DECENT cucumberless curry laksa lunch :) I had *GREAT* coffee TWICE today, from NON-CHAIN cafes :) And even though it was raining, it was freaking warm enough for me to walk around in a singlet top all day *aaaah* Seriously, 20 degrees feels like Summer to me.

Hrm, my Mum's calling me out to the kitchen for more food. Gotta go, peidaan and pickled ginger await me.

My Mum's amazing

So I land. I get home to Blacktown. My Mum has ready for me, my favourite dish of homemade Assam Laksa, marinated oven dried pork, and longans. There's still a tub of jam tarts waiting for me. Golly gosh. I'm never going to fit into Ula's bridesmaid's dress! Time to look up some gym classes *sigh*

Carb City

My hard work over the past month to eat in moderation and eat healthily was pretty much ruined by 3 days in Florence. Ahhh well. I'm sorry, but there's no way in hell I can refuse pasta or gelato in Italy.

I seriously have no idea how the Italians manage to fit in about 4 courses in one meal, but I dang well had a good time trying to keep up. Needless to say, I spent most of my money in Florence on food.

When not eating, I managed to fit in the Uffizi Gallery. Home to Botticelli's Birth of Venus. Errr, you know what? Keep in mind that the painting's approximately 600+ years old, and you won't be disappointed by how faded it is. The funny thing with Florence, it's filled with art, history and culture. Yet, the seedier side of human nature will always find a way to defile a masterpiece to make a buck. I hated the sight of all the boxer shorts for sale, with Michelangelo's David's penis printed on the front.

This trip, I tried to play around with camera angles. Not sure how successful I was. It's not as simple as turning the camera diagonally and clicking, as you can see from above *grin* I do like this shot of Ponte Vecchio though:

Packing

Ever since BA left my luggage in Scotland whilst I travelled back to Rondon, and then failed to deliver my luggage (D had to drive me to BA's warehouse to pick it up before my flight), I've had an inherent distrust of airlines. Do I trust checking in my 10 pairs of undies? NO. Having been stranded for days without a fresh pair of undies before, my Bonds babies are coming with me in my handluggage. All 10 pairs of em. So are any gifts that I've bought for my family. And my new stripey singlet top that I haven't had a chance to wear yet.

Okay, so 10 pairs is probably too many to take with me. But I never want to be stuck without undies again. Laugh at me now, but just wait... till it happens... to YOU.

Hrm, I should leave some at home.

Soft shell crab

It's been so long, that I can't remember the last time I've eaten it. I had it today at Cocoon. It was, SO. GOOD. Rondoners, if you have time in the next few days for lunch in Picadilly, take this voucher:

and get moving to Cocoon. 20 squids for 2 people! Bargain! Here's my chicken yakitori bento box, that came with soft shell crab salad, beef and foie gras (!) gyoza, duck spring roll, tuna and salmon sashimi:

10 things

With 5 days left till I get on a plane home, it's time to contemplate the past 11 months. It's really easy for me to pick 10 things I hate about Rondon (yeah, I've become a whinging Pom :) ). But what about 10 things I <3 about Rondon? In no particular order:
1. When the tube works, and there isn't a heatwave, and it's not peak hour, I think the tube is awesome. It's fast, and there's always one arriving in 2 minutes. Unless of course you're on the Circle or Northern line, but let's not go there.
2. The Oyster Card r0x0rz. Tap in, tap out. Simple and efficient.
3. Variety!!! Rondon is the first City I've been to where I can walk into 5 different shoe shops and not see the same shoes! There's just soo much variety when it comes to clothes.
4. The squids. Earning squids is nice. I don't make tons, but I make enough to live comfortably and travel on weekends.
5. The travel to Europe is sooo easy. 19 cities in 11 months. 20 if you count Florence this coming weekend :)
6. There is always people around. It's 3am, you're in the city, and it's alive.
7. I absolutely loooove walking around Rondon. I don't mind walking to work. I don't mind walking home from Oxford Circus. I don't mind walking all day. Rondon is such an interesting city to explore.
8. The best roast duck I've ever eaten is here. Four Seasons in Bayswater... But err, yeah, after last weekend, I'm a little ducked out.
9. People watching is so much fun here. Wherever I am, in a tube, in a cafe, on a bus... I start to wonder where these people are from, how they live their lives, why are they in a cafe midweek during the day? At least I'm usually unemployed when that happens :) Everyone always looks different.
10. The cheap-as-chips quality DJs! I think I paid 15 squids to see PvD. But he's been topped by Above & Beyond as my fave DJs :)

Hrm, that was easier than I thought. Maybe Rondon isn't so bad after all...

My new employers

Guess who I work for? I even get their mail ;)

48 hours

Well, we know it's possible to do Milan in 24 hours. So what can I get up to in Rondon in the space of 48 hours?

How about:
- 3 DJs
- 2 gym classes
- 1 Duck Challenge
- 2 hours of shopping (new stripey singlet top! yay!)
- 1 freebie event at the BFI

#18: Marco V
#71: Mauro Picotto
Not even in the top 100 list but free entry: Seb Fontaine
Overall impression: Meh. Marco V was alright. Better than Mauro Picotto. However, by 330am, I was bored and ready to go home. Definitely not DJs I would travel just to see. But for 10 quid to see both Marco V and Mauro Picotto, it was a deal I couldn't resist. Can't say I liked Seb Fontaine much either. Very samey throughout the night.

More interesting to talk about pick-up efforts on the night :) I find it odd that in a crowded doof doof club, a guy comes up to me and asks, "Do you want to dance?". I'm like, "Eh? No". Who dances with someone at a doof doof club? I know this sounds weird, but most of the time, people face the DJ rather than each other when dancing. Truth be told, I think he only asked me cause I had a good spot, and he wanted me to move to the dancefloor so he could take it :P

It's usually hard to distinguish the genuinely happy people, from the genuinely drunk people, from the genuinely wasted people at clubs. Friday night was a breeze. Those hyper orientals with the glowstix posing for photos - happy. That topless guy with the viking hat - drunk. The girl doing the sexy dancing and hair flicking with an inanimate object for ages - wasted.

Moving on.

So, what is the Duck Challenge? After a year of wondering if Four Seasons really has the best roast duck, we decided to confirm it by pitting it against ducks from three other other restaurants. Challengers were Gold Mine, Magic Wok and Tai Ka Lok.

D, the Duck Master:

Being the only person in the household that doesn't care anything about duck besides eating it, D was designated the Duck Master - the One Who Knows Which Duck Is Which. D was responsible for creating 20 bite sized morsels of each duck and keeping each duck anonymous.

9 of us judged the ducks in two categories.
- Best duck flavour:
1. Magic Wok
2. Four Seasons
3. Gold Mine
4. Tai Ka Lok

- Best duck with sauce:
1. Four Seasons
2. Magic Wok
3. Gold Mine
4. Tai Ka Lok

Before and After:

Results are a bit skewed though. Something about Magic Wok's duck being pre-sauced. There were also a few convinced that Gold Mine had the best sauceless duck. So there you go, Rondoners. The secret's to get the duck from Magic Wok, and the sauce from Four Seasons!

A note on Tai Ka Lok's duck. It's the crappiest duck I've ever tasted in Rondon. The only reason it was in the competition, is because the restaurant has a sign outside saying it had hired a barbeque roast master from China called Mr Tham, and had the best duck in Rondon. HAH. I should've known never to trust anyone called anything other than Sifu to be master... "Mr" Tham. HAH.

It's begun

I've started to calorie count :( I find myself staring at nutritional info on packaging and trying to work out how many calories I'm going to eat. I've even started avoiding carbs in the evening. Almost everynight is chicken soup night. Do you know how depressing that is for someone who loves food so much? After seeing this tonight, I craaaave french fries. After reading this, I craaaave chicken nuggets. It's also not easy when the entire household eats profiteroles for dessert and I have to resist! It's TORTURE when your flatmate forgets you're not eating sweet stuff, and walks into your room to offer you a plump, creamy leftover profiterole! Are you INSANE, B?!? Speaking of plump and creamy... Beard Papa... Mmmm...

Truth is, I'm not sure if all this exercise and careful eating has made a difference. I'm just worried about fitting into the bridesmaid dress :P The only thing I've noticed, is that my b00bies are shrinking :( Dang it.

You know what I dread hearing at the gym? The instructor shouting, "DOUBLE TIME!" and "HOLD IT IN! ABS ABS ABS!" Stupid pot belly. Just go away and I'd be happy.

Before I forget

Happy Steak & BJ Day, Boyz :P

Dinner conversation

There's a certain theme that runs through my conversations with new acquaintances these days:
- Living in Rondon
- Travelling
- Relationships
- Sex
Bare in mind, the "new acquaintances" I'm meeting, are mostly Aussies. At a recent dinner party of 15 people, I met 12 Aussies, and 2 Kiwis. What's the point eh?

The conversation always starts off with:
- How long have you been in Rondon?
- How long do you plan to stay?
- Where have you travelled to?

Same 'ole, same 'ole. So to spice up the conversation, I initiate relationship and sex topics:
- How did you meet So-and-so?
- How long have you two been together?
- What's the kinkiest partner you've ever had?
- Golden shower? Really?!? Tell me more!

Yes, I have met a guy who's done the tinkle. Unsurprisingly, he found it really hard to tinkle *grin* I find a lot of people have a lot to say. And they're willing to share. It's just a matter of asking the right questions.

Ohgawd, the entire household is crying, "OMG!"... They're watching episode 18 of Heroes.

Guild Wars

The Beenikster household recently acquired a new house bitch. His name is Warren. This is what he looks like:

L0L!!!!11!!!1! It's Waz's character in Guild Wars. I have to admit, when I saw his character, I questioned Waz's sexuality. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being gay. In fact, if there's a morality issue, I'd be saying spending the majority of your time ignoring your hot gf for Guild Wars is wrong!

Waz, the only raisin you'd be kicking my ass in Guild Wars, is cause I'd be dying of laughter when I saw you *grin* I don't care if this guy only looks like this cause he's got "special armour" on :) Am I suppose to take Man Titties seriously??

Giving up

I have given up my morning M&S Madagascan Vanilla Lakemead yoghurt. It's 270 calories. And B keeps reminding me it's not actually yoghurt, but something more sinister called "whipping cream".

I have given up chocolate. Well, I have today anyway. And mochas are an exception to the rule. Thank gawd the Tim Tams are no longer around.

I have given up candy. That starts today too. I must resist those packets of evil gummies that T has brought back from Frankfurt.

I have become a gym class junkie. That's partially Jen's fault. Having a gym buddy makes it a little less painful. The rest of the blame goes to Ula and Wilco. I must get rid of my pot belly before their wedding! My after work social activities are now sadly Legs Bum Tums, Body Conditioning, Body Pump and Step classes. Ula, Wilco, you might have to sponsor my liposuction if the pot belly is still around when I get back to Sydney *grin* 22 more days...

If you're visiting us, please stop buying candy or chocolate as a gift. It's not helping my pot belly banishment regime...

24

In 24 hours, Jack Bauer "stops bombs, viruses, assassination attempts, and usually saves someone he cares about at the same time".

In 24 hours, B and I flew to Milan; ate pasta; shopped at Prada, D&G, Armani, LV, Gucci, *insert designer name here*; ate more pasta and flew back to Rondon. In fact, we did it all in 23 hours. Take that Jack Bauer.

Milan is Designer City. This is the city where Armani isn't just a shop, it's a department store! It has a Nobu bar/restaurant. It has a homeware floor (I can afford a small bowl). It has multiple levels. This is the city where I can walk into Prada and D&G and *touch* leather bags with no price tags, and not get dirty glares from shop assistants. Wooo, I also tried on every different type of GIANT SUNNIES I could find :) That's as much as I could afford to do. Others though, walked out of shops with giant designer shopping bags. Where on earth do these people get the money to buy these things?!? And why, if they have the money, are they buying clothing items that cost as much as feeding a family for a month?!? And why why why, don't I have friends who have this sort of money? :)

Here's what EU$4000 shoes look like:

Here's the scary gnome shop:

I really should've taken more photos of designer shops, but... it's just not me.

Happy Berfday T!

Trust you to always have D&Ms with me when plastered *grin*


To many more years of drunken debauchery together *MUAH*

I'm legal!

TADA! I'm a legal resident till 2011!

Three weeks is a long time to be apart from my passport. That's how long it took the Home Office to process my application from start to finish. Which isn't really that long, it's just painful not having my passport. I've grown really attached to it. Without my passport, I can't plan holidays. I wasn't even sure if I was going to get it back in time for my flight back to Sydney! Funny though, the Home Office is dang fast when it comes to money. They took 335 squids from my account the same day they received my application. That's a 335 squids non-refundable processing fee. That's how much it cost just to assess my paperwork. Wow. No wonder this country loves paperwork.

T was particularly evil. She opened my application and told me I needed to send in more evidence. Which only freaked me out because I had a dream last night that my application had been rejected for the same reason...

Oscars Roundup

It's been an intense past few weeks of movie watching for me. Here are my votes from the nominees:

Best Picture: I watched Babel, The Departed, and Little Miss Sunshine. I do have Letters from Iwo Jima, but unfortunately can't find the subtitles. Errr, to be honest, I didn't think much of the ones I watched. If I had to pick, I'd pick Babel. If nominations were up to me, I'd go for Pan's Labyrinth as Best Picture. Honestly, my fave movie for 2006. The Pale Man is the most imaginative creature I've seen in a long time. Trivia: The actor who played the Pale Man also played Pan, and was the only cast member who didn't speak Spanish. He had to learn his lines as well as Ofelia's because he couldn't hear properly out of his costume and had to know when to speak.

Best Actor: This is the only category where I've watched all the nominees - Leonardo in Blood Diamond, Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson, Peter O'Toole in Venus, Will Smith in Pursuit of Happyness and Forest Whitaker in Last King of Scotland. Without a doubt, Forest Whitaker. Nobody else could've done Idi Amin.

Best Foreign Film: Admittedly, I only watched Pan's Labyrinth and Das Leben from this category. Guess which one I'd pick :) Das Leben was interesting because it gave an insight to the German socialist era, but a tad on the slow and predictive side.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Borat, Children of Men, The Departed, Little Children and Notes on a Scandal (I didn't watch it). Borat for sure! *lol* Personally, I don't understand all the fuss about Children of Men. I've seen better apocolyptic themed movies.

Best Documentary Feature: I could only get Jesus Camp and An Incovenient Truth. After watching An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore has my respect. This guy should've been the President of the United States. Not the total douche bag that's in in place now. It would've been a different world. Jesus Camp wasn't bad as a documentary, but I liked An Inconvenient Truth better.

Best Cinematography: Nominees are The Black Dahlia, Children of Men, The Illusionist, Pan's Labyrinth and The Prestige. I'd give it to Pan's Labyrinth. Trivia: Pan's legs are actually real in the movie. They're mechanical and not CGI, which made it that much more realistic and believable. The actor's real legs were digitally erased later on. I couldn't finish watching the Black Dahlia, boooring...

Best Film Editing: Out of Babel, Blood Diamond, Children of Men and The Departed, I'd vote for Babel. Although I didn't like the movie, I'm willing to say that it was well directed and well edited. The scene switching between cities was pretty seamless.

Ones Worth Watching IMHO: Blood Diamond, Last King of Scotland, The Prestige, An Inconvenient Truth and of course, Pan's Labyrinth. Curse of the Golden Flower was surprisingly not nominated for Best Cinematography. Instead it was nominated for Best Costume Design. I think it's worth watching it on the big screen. It was _made_ for the big screen.

Welcome...

When you're 18, I hope I'm still hip and cool enough to be your favourite aunt :)

At the very least, I'm pulling out this blog entry, putting it into a powerpoint presentation and showing it to your friends at your 21st :P

USD$45,000,000

... will get you a lot of oriental boobies on film:

My first thought was, how many boobies does the Emperor of China need?!? But these are actually boobies that belong to the Empress. They're her servants! This movie's probably worth watching at the cinema, just to appreciate the gawdy cinematography of it all. 45 million bux0rz goes a looooong way in China. And of course, there's plenty of oriental boobies if you like that sort of stuff (even the Empress' are out there).

Golden Piggy

Gung Hei Fat Choi!

(It's like they ripped off the Cat's head and simply replaced it with a Pig's! If you look closely, the beckoning limb still looks like a cat's claw instead of a pig's hoof)

I headed out to Trafalgar Square to check out the Rondon celebrations... Errr, loads of tourists, some acrobatics and some orientals-ripping-off-tourists stalls *grin* Not much of a Chinese New Year feel *shrug* At least there's _some_ event to mark the occasion.

Apparently this is a very auspicious year for newborn babies. Once every 60 years, the zodiac year of the Pig coincides with the Gold element. Hence, the Golden Piggy! Babies born this year are meant to be blessed with fortune and prosperity. Which explains why women in China were rushing to get laid last year :P

Jesus Camp

I am really really interested to hear what my religious friends have to say about Jesus Camp. Erm, I think I have some religious friends left in my life *grin* Well, at least they're non-invasive about their choices.This documentary, just scares me. If you're looking for a *whisper* torrent, go here. If you don't know what a *whisper* torrent is, go here.

Tell me you don't think it's crazy that kids in America are being told:
- "... summers in the United States over the past few years have been very warm. As a result, global warming must be real. What's wrong with this reasoning?"
- "If you look at creationism, you realise it's the only possible answer to all the questions"
- "Science doesn't prove anything, and it's really interesting when you look at it that way"
- "Let me say something about Harry Potter, warlocks are enemies of god!"
- "The devil goes after the young!"

Errrr.... Oookay. So many things, just _so_ wrong. These kids, are not normal kids. These kids have no soul of their own. These kids, range from about 5 to 12 years old.

Don't get me wrong, everyone needs something to believe in. But I say, let kids be kids and find out for themselves. I was brought up a Buddhist. Sent to a Methodist school. Active participant in ancestor worship. Joined the Good News Bible club. And I still go to the temple with my parents on the rare occasion. Throughout my childhood, my parents let me decide and I turned out fine. Even though I was close to flunking Physics and Chemistry (I was a bad oriental), I'd still take Science anyday over religion. Actually, if there was a pot-smoking, pr0n watching, pleasure giving deity that liked to visit maidens in their sleep - that's the one I'd go for. Did I mention a French accent? I'd go for one with a French accent.

Here's what the really fat lady preacher (what happened to avoiding Gluttony?) prayed for before the camp started:

"In Jesus' name, no microphone problems"

Wtf? How about, in Jesus' name:
- Stop the fcking genocide in Dafur
- Stop the destruction in countries like Iraq and Lebanon
- Stop worldwide hunger, poverty and homelessness
- Find a cure for AIDS and cancer
- Stop Big Brother and Rove from airing ever again

"Microphone problems"?!? Jesus has bigger problems to review if you ask me.

I'm sorry. Watch the documentary. I have to go cleanse myself and perform the ritual of autoeroticism now.

A Valentines Day Msg

HW, this post is dedicated to you...

Guys, I know we chix0rz say that we're not the romantic type and it doesn't really matter. BUT... we're liars! Romance doesn't matter MOST of the time. But trust me when I say that all chix0rz have the same complaint. That guys, just take it for granted and don't make any effort AT ALL. What we want, now and then, we're not asking for all the time (we realise that's an impossibility with the male species), is:
- An organised date.
- A date where the girl doesn't have to think about anything
- The GUY calls for the cab to the restaurant, the waiter, we tell them what we want to eat and YOU order, the choosing of the wine, the calling of the bill, the cab home.... ROMANCE. That's what wining and dining is all about. And you know the "Wine Me, Dine Me" saying, so you get your returns at the end of the night :P
- Special request from a gf: Flowers just because. Not because you've screwed up. Because you're thinking of us and think we deserve flowers sent to work. Of course it makes us look good infront of our colleagues. BUT of course we're bragging about what a great boyfriend we have too! One that thinks of us all the time! Works both ways buddy.

Is it that hard? Do you realise how much effort chix0rz put in to looking fantastic for you?!? I've officially started a survey. Do guys prefer bush or no bush? 100% so far have voted for NO BUSH. Do you realise the pain, humiliation and effort that goes into no bush? It's not like you guys do the same thing for us :P Yet there's more reason for YOU to do it. It makes it look bigger after all :P

To all those guys out there who are "committed". I'm doing you a favour. Your gfs don't mention these facts to you because:
- We WANT YOU to think of the romance idea by yourselves! Otherwise, it's just not romantic if we have to TELL YOU.
- We WANT YOU to show initiative.
- Saying "I love you" is simply superficial. It's an easy escape. The first time is hardest, and means the mostest. But after that? SHOW IT.

Seriously, you should thank me for this :P Follow through and we'll give you what you want.

Errr, if I've offended any chix0rz, sorry :P

Another snowy post

Eventually I'll tire of it, but in the meantime, it's still a novelty :) So I decided to walk to work in the snow (waaaah!) this morning. Then I discovered my beanie with earflaps isn't warm enough. My head started to hurt. I kept going. Then I discovered my gloves weren't warm enough either. My finger started getting cold from holding the umbrella. I stormed on. Then my freshly dry-cleaned TROUSERS started getting wet at the cuffs. Meh. Then my feet started feeling icily soggy. My sneakers were letting in water from the slush!!! That's when I packed it in, and waited for a bus. Brrr... lucky I have my own personal heater at work. I dried out my soggy sneakers and socks with it.

Side note: I walked into the office telling everyone "my pants got wet". Middle-aged men started laughing at me. Never say "pants", that's short for UNDERpants. Dang Engrish.

Here's what Rondon looks like on a normal day. You can even see the Eye:

Here's what Rondon looked like today:

It doesn't feel like home yet

It's been 9 months. Long enough to incubate a baby. Surely that's long enough to make myself feel at home? Mmm, not quite. I'm settled (that took 8 months), but Rondon, doesn't feel like home yet. Apart from the odd clothing item and necessities I've had to buy, the only asset I have at the moment is:
*drum roll*
A sieve.

Yup. It cost me 7 squiddies as well! I needed it to strain my chestnut veloute. Anyways, that's all I own.

Part of the odd feeling comes from this apartment. It's a great place in a great location, but... something's out of place. I guess it's different when you're renting in Rondon. Most places here come furnished. Which is a good thing, as it means I haven't had to spend a squid on furniture or bedding. It's also a bad thing, because it feels like I'm living in a stranger's home. Nothing here is personalised. The ugly pink flowery couch reminds me of that everytime I walk into the living room.

The last time I moved out, I made C get a herb garden (which I promptly killed while he was away), and I got myself a pot plant (which is probably dead by now too). I had a lush red velvety couch. I still miss my futon. We ate out on the balcony on our naff aluminium outdoor furniture. I had a painting T gave me up on the wall. Everything was familiar and I felt at home. To be honest though, this feeling, is also partly my own fault. Having lugged my crap around town about 4 times since I've landed, I'm too scared to buy anything decorative *grin* It's my new minimalist approach. I managed to walk through IKEA for 3 hours without making a single purchase. Apart from Swedish meatballs.

So it got me thinking of what I could add to this place. I was thinking of investing in a nice piece of art... but there are no hooks on my walls :( D'oh.

Speaking of incubating babies, this one is just about ready to pop out :) Meet my future niece/nephew. Due in about 15 days! This was taken about 5 months ago.

Before anyone asks, NO, this isn't cute enough to make me want my own :P

#1: Paul van Dyk

To be honest, I didn't enjoy the night. Firstly, I've never had to turn up at a club at 1030pm and wait approximately 4 hours for a DJ before. Why turn up so early? Because the club was intending to squish as many humanoids into the small space as possible, and this was their way of making sure members got in before the plebs. Secondly, too many retards. I've always been clubbing for the music. It's too hard to enjoy the music when people are constantly stepping on my feet. Or I'm too squished in to dance. Or at my height, all I see infront of me is some guy's beefcake back. Or I'm always on the lookout for flying elbows and retards with lit cigarettes. It's really really disappointing when I hear a tune I love being played but... just can't dance or enjoy it properly. Great to see PvD... But, I think I'll avoid the big gigs at Turnmills from now on. It's just too hard.

Why did I go? You know who you are :P I paid the price. Today, my mucous has transformed from yellow to green and I've lost my voice.

Here's the obligatory DJ pic :) Looks like PvD's balding tho!!!