Friday, December 28, 2007

Where am I?!?

It's like I've ventured into some kind of bizarro world where every girl is a peroxide blonde in a sequined mini (I didn't realise sequins were so in) and five inch heels. _Every_girl_. I'm only 5 hours outside of Rondon. It's below 10 degrees here, and none of these girls have a jacket. You think I'm bad with my singlet tops in winter? At least I own a massive puffy jacket. Just looking at these girls makes me feel icy.

I'm in Liverpool. Here, Babsy calls me exotic, as I seem to be the only oriental around. Sure enough, when we're at a bar, a recently pubescent teen starts up a *grinding* session with me "Yeaaah!". I shoot a withering look at Niffies, who for some reason, immediately deserts me and leaves me stranded with Vanilla Ice here :P Britney's "Gimme More" starts pumping out, and I take a big gulp of vodka. Hey, at least the alcohol is cheap here :)

Where am I?!?

It's a place that has signs outside bars saying, "No hoodies". Yes, you can spot a hoodlum quite easily by their clothing choice in this city. I quickly scrunch my hood down to make it look more scarf-like :P

We wander down to another bar. This time, it's more adult, but still bizarro. There are some really hot chicks here (blonde of course), and they're all wearing tiny sequined dresses! There are some big chicks here too, and they're all wearing the same tiny sequined dresses! Even the toilets are bizarro. Two chicks come out of one cubicle, three chicks go in. Nobody goes in alone. They're definitely not peeing in there :P I stand in line wondering if people think I'm a lesbian - dressed in a white singlet top and jeans, I look more like the toilet attendant than a customer. Also, I have no partner to go into the cubicle with, so there's something obviously wrong with me. I quiz a couple of guys who were being checked out by the girls in the toilet queue.

Me: "So what do you think of the girls here?"
Guy: "They're great! Very well presented!" (as he makes subconscious hand movements in the chest area)
Me: "Great eh?" (mimicking his hand movements)
Guy: "No! That's not what I meant. The girls here are all very stylish."
Me: "What do you think of the length of skirts?"
Guy: *Grins* "Not short enough!"
Me: "Mate, it's fcking winter out there!!"
Guy: "Yeah, I know, it's great!"

We make our way to the club. You know what's hilarious? It's printed boldly on my ticket, "Dresscode: Strictly no tracksuits" *grin* It's _that_ kind of city.

I'm not even going to delve into my toilet horror story here. The skanks here are the skankiest ever.

All this for 2 hours with Armin. Ah well, it had to be done :) Another city crossed off my list. Thanks Babsy for showing us around, and thanks Niffies for trekking all the way out with me *muah*
Taken from my iPhone :)
Check out all those bare legs! Not a jacket in sight.

PS: I revenged myself on a sequined hussy by ripping some sequins off her dress as she rudely shoves her way past me in a crowd. Deep inside me, a "BWAHAHA!" lets loose.


millimilli said...

I have a horrid skank story to tell from Daft Punk! *shudders* The area in front of the stage was cordoned off and they had no toilets there. So if you left, there's a strong chance you can't get back in.

You know what we saw? Not only lots and lots of piss filled water bottles. Or people throwing those bottles around. We saw a girl squat in front of us and piss into a plastic cup. Then she pulled her short shorts back on, the crotch was soaked, then deliberately kicked the cup over. Mega skankiness.


Beckster said...

Sequins are definitely IN this season reenie. But you know the strange thing? I've polled a bunch of guys on this and the overwhelming answer is men do not find sequins sexy. Sequins are scratchy and rough and 'leave red marks on your hands when you grope someone's butt' (one particular guy's words). Maybe those outfits were the fashion equivalent of mace? Nobody would be grinding you if you were wearing sequins. Tip for next time dude :p

reenie said...

Ok Milli, your skank story beats mine *grin*

niffs said...

They were the most festiest toilets I've ever seen. I chucked my jeans on the hottest wash possible, the minute I got home :P The Daft Punk story probably beats it tho, so feral.

And I didn't abandon yooooo, I just went to get the drinks less than a meter away. Promise!

niffs said...

p.s. The dresscode spelt out on the ticket was the funniest thing ever. Liverpool is a chav/wag city I guess.

Kev said...

That sounds pure bogan.

At least (if I was there) the skirt were short :)