My question is:

:: Where the hell are my DJ Gods?
:: Where have all the loved-up clubbers gone?
:: Why am I having such difficulty finding a good venue?
:: Where has the good music gone?

I end up at MoS, one of my least favourite places. I'm overdressed. I'm in my pretty patent heels. No dancing for me tonight. By accident, I look like one of those pretentious twits at a dance club. The ones who I usually snigger at *sigh* What's happened?

It's funny watching couples at MoS dance together. They face each other but they completely avoid eye contact *lol*

I miss Turnmills. Badly.

I left at 1am. M.I.K.E was just boring the shits out of me. Think I'll cheer myself up with a Vivienne Westwood skull ring later today.

4am: Lightbox

One of those nights... We did our research. We headed out. We almost got separated at Baker Street. *Someone* doesn't take the chance as the tube doors slam shut. I raced on ahead, making it a close call as the doors swoosh close behind me. Luckily, the conductor takes pity on B and reopens the doors just for her *grin* Slowass! ;)

We ended up at the front door of Ghost. It was deadly quiet. Not a beat or soul in sight. Doors shut tight. Wtf? Ironically, it's the most appropriately named bar-slash-club.

Well then. All dressed up. Needs _somewhere_ to go.

Next on the list, Lightbox in Vauxhall. Beating the midnight tube curfew, we hop on a carriage and head to Bandit Country (South of the River).

It's actually a pretty cool venue :) The entire room is decked out in LED lights. Pity about the music...

I think, we're just happy to have made it somewhere tonight :) Even if it did take an hour and a half and a giant circle to get there *grin*

Dance dance dance

A couple of months ago, I received an email from my brother along the lines of, "Hey... I was back in Sydnery for New Year's, and watching a trance video clip (Armin, I think?) at a friend's place. Your face suddenly popped up onto the 1m widescreen TV!"

After that, I couldn't resist getting a copy of the Armin Only DVD *lol* So here I am in one of my fleeting dance moments captured on DVD :)

(Good thing my underarms were shaven)

It's funny, but I never thought that I'd reach the end of my must-do event list in Europe after only 5 years. Here's the list:
:: Dance Valley (the start of it all in 2004);
:: Global Gathering (my first UK festival, literally hours after I landed in Heathrow);
:: Valkana Beach (where there was no beach but instead a mountain racetrack in a little village! If you want to know more, I can forward you the email I wrote up at the time);
:: *deep voice* SEN-SA-TION WHITE (back in the Ula&Wilco days :) );
:: Various Armin Only events;
:: PvD & Groove Armada @ Amsterdam Dance Event;
:: O2 Wireless @ Hyde Park
:: Space Opening @ Ibiza
:: SW4 @ Clapham
:: Nature One (Mine and B's first camping festival!)

The last and most recent on my list, Trance Energy just a couple of weeks ago :) That's when it occurred to me, "HEY! This is it! I've done all the events that I've wanted to do!" *grin*

Armin (who else?) @ Trance Energy:

On the 11th July this year, it comes full-circle as I head back to 15 years of Dance Valley with B. Join us! Join us! This is the festival that started me on the path of global DJ hunting :)

Something about the new year

All I want to do is ketchup with friends and gossip :)

You're probably wondering if I had a repeat performance of last year :P Sorry to disappoint, but this time I actually left the house. To be honest, I left the comfort of my bed mostly because I had international guests to entertain! Anyways, thanks to Milli-San for all the help with costume prep!

Without further ado, here's me dressed as errr, Snow White for Pushca's Grimm Fairytale NYE party :P (Yeah, I don't think anything I could've worn would've convinced anyone an oriental Snow White exists...)

Happy New Year everyone!

Happy anniversary

Yesterday was the day I arrived in Rondon 2 years ago. Has it really been 2 years already? So much has happened. Some good, some bad, some lessons learnt the hard way. How did I celebrate this momentous occasion? By leaving Rondon and flying to Amsterdam *lol* Yesterday was also Armin Only day!!! Yaaaay!!! :D

I'd bought tix to this event ages ago, and after lots of umm'ing and ahh'ing, finally decided to book my flights and go. So off I jetted to the Netherlands to spend 10 hours with my fave DJ. I left Rondon at 6pm, and was at the venue in Utrecht by 9pm - and that's with a one hour time difference. Not bad for international clubbing.

However, Armin did that annoying hide-behind-the-screen thing AGAIN! For 3 hours!! It could've been anyone throwing on CDs for those 3 hours :P

I did love the night though :) Armin totally rocked it.

I've also figured out the trick to maintaining personal space at the front row - dance in stiletto heels. In an attempt to be a liiiiittle taller amongst the Dutch giants, I wore my boots. Anyone who came near me at the wrong time was likely to get a hole stomped into their foot by my spikey heels :P However, it also meant that by the 7th hour of dancing, my feet were killing and I had to exit the front row. That's when I realised, holy shit, it's not easy fighting my way from the front through 16,000 frenetically dancing people. It took me awhile. Good thing about the venue was that there were flat screens everywhere, and the sound system was great. Because I was upfront for most of the night, I didn't really get to see the full effects of the show until I watched it on the flatscreens. It was amazing, the crowd was just constantly heaving and the lights were awesome. I'm getting the DVD just to see if I'm in it *lol*

This time, I was also prepared for the stupid Dutch "no water bottles" scam. I had to smuggle in an empty water bottle :P Which meant I could refill my bottle from the toilet taps, as oppose to spending 3 euros for a cup of water each time I felt thirsty. Besides that, how is one suppose to dance on a crowded dancefloor with a cup?!? Bastards! Don't even get me started on their token system. I totally dig their locker system though. They had enough lockers for 16,000 people and for 5 euros, I could unburden my coat and massive handbag for the night.

I really can't wait till the next Armin Only :) More pix here. To my Sydnery party crew, I missed you!! Looks like you guys had a big night at SH's housewarming anyway ;)

Happy anniversary to me...

I see you Baby

SHAKIN THAT ASS!

To be honest, I had no idea what Groove Armada were like. I didn't even know any of their songs. I was just going along for fun. What, you mean you don't take a day off to fly to Amsterdam to listen to random DJs for fun? ;) To be honest, I initially thought the support act were Groove Armada, and was disappointed that they sucked so badly *lol* I was falling asleep! It wasn't until Groove Armada got on and sang the words, "Whenever I'm down, I call on you my friend," that I realised, "OH! Groove Armada sang _that_ song!" And of course, there's also the infamous "I See You Baby" song :)

By accident, I took this really cool photo:

Ok, so it's not that cool, but I was never able to take photos like this with my old skool Canon :) There's something called "Intelligent ISO" mode on my new camera. One day, I'll RTFM.

Paper

At about 2am today, my stomach retched and the ciabatta topped with Carluccio's sugo al funghi porcini came up. Unbelievably, this is the second time in my life that my stomach contents have wafted a porcini scent at me from the bowl. Traitorous stomach.

At about 9am today, SH jumped on me (hidden under my doona) in my bed, "HI BABE!!! OMG! ARE YOU NAKED?"

Shit. Indeed I am. Sometime between 2am and 9am, my clothes left me. Traitorous clothes.

It really doesn't take much these days. I think it was 3 vodka lemon limes, and a shot of Belvedere. Incidentally, a shot of Belvedere and a vodka with mixer will set you back at least 18 squids in Paper! I had to get the shot in order to cover the minimum spend before I could put it on my credit card. Traitorous cashless society.

To be honest, I was slightly disappointed with Paper. It'd been hyped as the place where celebs go to be cool. So I was expecting something big, flashy and ostentatious. I wanted Bling, Baby. Instead, I was faced with a ton of burly bouncers, a lack of seating space, and plastic chandeliers. AND, expensive spirits!!! Lucky I'm a cheap drunk. I drowned my sharply lowered expectations in vodka (obviously), and had a great time dancing to remixed choons from the early 90's :)

I also accosted a fierce looking black bouncer.
Me: *Tapping bouncer on his iron forearm* "Excuse me... Can I ask you a question?"
Bouncer: *Pulls out receiver from ear and leans down*
Me: "Have you seen any white guys on the dance floor that can dance??"
Bouncer: *Breaks out into a big grin*
Me: "No, I'm serious. Have you, in all your experience as a bouncer, seen any white guys that can dance?"
Bouncer: "You know what, I spend a lot of time watching. And I have to say they're improving."

Aaah, evolution...

We chat some more, about jazz clubs in Camden, about girls in Paper.
Me: "Do you pick up here?"
Bouncer: "I don't. The girls here, they're here for one reason. Everyone knows it."
Me: *Clueless* "What's the reason?"
Bouncer: "Money! A lot of people with money come here."
Me: "Really? I'm a bit disappointed with this place. It's small. Who's the most famous person you've seen here?"
Bouncer: "I've seen P.Diddy. Even Harry has been here."

Our conversation is cut short by another member of staff. Besides, the girls were giggling at me from the dancefloor.

To all my whitey guy friends, I don't mean you *grin* I wouldn't be caught dead with you in a club otherwise! ;) The dancing techniques in Rondon clubs though, is just shocking...

Plasticy goodness

This mini table will probably set you back 500 squids

How is it possible Niffies was still standing at the end of the night? ;)

Darren Emerson

Unranked, and for good reason - Darren Emerson's music is boring. _Really_ boring.

I don't know if it's because I like my trance cheesy, or my house hard, but gaaawd... I've rarely ever stood infront of a DJ and felt that unmotivated to dance. So that's it, no more house music for me.

Even the overdressed crowd was boring. Girls performed their mating calls in spikey heels, boys performed their monkey moves in preppy shirts. I even saw a girl do the Elaine Dance. That was the most entertaining part of my night. Of course, there's always at least one twat in the club that wants to talk to me.
Twat: "What do you dislike most about Western guys?"
Me: "They can't dance" :P

Recovery

Well, kinda. Only in the sense that I was drinking and dancing lots, but this time, at a beach...

I did try to chillax and catch some rays on a deckchair, but it was too hard. The music was great and it was impossible to ignore. Bora Bora is like an after party beach bar. Wrong place for recovery. Every so often a plane flies over us and a cheer breaks out from the mob. If it's an incoming, we all knew what those people on the plane had ahead of them. The party's just getting started. If it's an outgoing, we all felt for the poor bastards who've had to leave the island.

16 hours later, as I was passing out on a deckchair back at Bora Bora after another clubbing marathon, a girl approaches me and squats down for a whispered conversation.
Girl: "I saw you dance the other day."
Me: "Err, okay..."
Girl: "You looked really cool. And I was wondering..."
Me thinking: Maybe I'm about to get invited to a VIP party!
Girl: "... if you would like my spare drugs because I'm going home today."

*lol* Okay, so maybe, I dance a little retardedly :) I obviously attract attention.

Thank you Babe, for showing me Ibiza Uncovered ;) It definitely had a lot less drunken Chavs than I expected. I'm no longer an Ibiza virgin, and I have a great tan to show for it.

AdF, you're next to be initiated! Bring on your 30th!

Lost in Space...

Literally.

(Tada - hot stewardesses in tight skimpy outfits!)

It's so silly! I've been clubbing so many times before. I've been to festivals with tens of thousands of people before. I've _never_ ever been lost. Never. Until I got to Space. This place is a maze of areas. I kept entering the same rooms, doing the same rounds and frustratingly finding the same exits or entrances. It's an experience more traumatic than it sounds. Each room was packed. At my height, air is scarce, the view is of elbows, and do you really think Spaniards take a "cutesy" (*gag*) oriental saying, "hola!" seriously? I have no idea why, but the sight of me brought a lot of smiles to faces everywhere I went. And a lot of head patting. I can't comprehend the head patting. Am I really that exotic in Spain? Actually, at one point, I pulled out my good ol' Australiana pasaporte to prove that I wasn't Japonés or Chino :)

While waiting for a friend, I made the mistake of showing off my "prowess" at the language to a random guy standing by the cigarette machine. The next thing I know, the guy is making gestures downstairs at his "pollo", and telling me it's "mucho grande". Amazingly, I bumped into him later on when I was lost, and he was kind enough to pull me through the crowd in the room. And I didn't even have to touch his pollo in return :P

More boobies!

After 10 hours of clubbing, I was tired. Knackered beyond belief. So I headed home at the o'so-late hour of 1am. Only to find 2 out of 3 of my flatmates already crashed out in bed :) The final flatmate arrived home at 11am!

Queen's Day!!!

It's a nice sunny day in Amsterdam, and everyone was out to party! In boats! The canals were endlessly filled with party boats. Anyone want to organise a theme boat for next year's Queen's Day? :)

The day was topped off at Leiden with a free gig by Armin van Buuren (ranked #2). It would've been a lot better without the crazy puberscent kids around. I'm starting to sound like an old fart :( Think from now on, I'll stick to over 18 events.

#1: Paul van Dyk

To be honest, I didn't enjoy the night. Firstly, I've never had to turn up at a club at 1030pm and wait approximately 4 hours for a DJ before. Why turn up so early? Because the club was intending to squish as many humanoids into the small space as possible, and this was their way of making sure members got in before the plebs. Secondly, too many retards. I've always been clubbing for the music. It's too hard to enjoy the music when people are constantly stepping on my feet. Or I'm too squished in to dance. Or at my height, all I see infront of me is some guy's beefcake back. Or I'm always on the lookout for flying elbows and retards with lit cigarettes. It's really really disappointing when I hear a tune I love being played but... just can't dance or enjoy it properly. Great to see PvD... But, I think I'll avoid the big gigs at Turnmills from now on. It's just too hard.

Why did I go? You know who you are :P I paid the price. Today, my mucous has transformed from yellow to green and I've lost my voice.

Here's the obligatory DJ pic :) Looks like PvD's balding tho!!!

#9: Above & Beyond

Fck, Above & Beyond were absolutely *brilliant*. It was worth flying over to Glasgow just to see them. It was worth all the lines I had to wait in just to see them! Airport security (the usual), getting on the plane, traffic jam in Glasgow, waiting to get inside the club, waiting for the cloakroom... All worth it to see Above & Beyond live.

Funny thing about Scottish clubbers. They're the most enthusiastic about DJs! It's BYO whistles (admittedly I wanted to garrote the guy with his whistle yard), and mass chanting. No kidding. "Go! Go! Here we fcking go!" Or for those who felt more inspired, "Let's! Let's! Let's go fcking mental!"

What on earth?

So here are some statistics for the night:
- Number of orientals in the club: 1 (that's me)
- Number of guys who kissed my hand/cheek: 5
- Number of chicks who kissed my cheek: 1
- Number of wasters who tried picking me up: 2
- Number of wasters who fondled his bits after I turned him down: 1
- Age of the youngest guy who tried to pick me up: 19 (man, I felt like a paedophile)
- Number of guys who showed me his chest and asked if I liked it: 2 (must be a weird Scottish mating call thing)
- Number of times topless guy next to me rubbed against me: 3 (ewwww...)
- Number of guys who took off clothes for me: 1 (He said, "It's really hot in here. I said, "Why don't you take it off?" So he took _everything_ off. I just meant his jumper, I swearz)

And this, made my night:
- Number of times I was kissed by the Above & Beyond DJ: 3!!! :D W00T!!!

I in turn became a giddy schoolgirl and started yelling, "I LOVE YOOOU!!"

The one on the left smooched me :)

#6: Ferry Corsten

I know I made it a priority this year to be a bigger DJ slut, but do you realise how hard it is to go clubbing at midnight when it's cold and potentially raining outside? Not to mention I'm a lot closer to 30 these days and my body's breaking down on me (excuses excuses). Regardless, I made the effort to see Ferry Corsten play at Turnmills last Friday. He's ranked No. 6 on the Top 100 DJ Mag list. Sadly, Ferry's music didn't inspire me to stay very long. At 3.30am, an hour and a half into his 4 hour set, I left for home. I use to love Ferry's music. These days, his sets seem... boring. So, no more Ferry Corsten for me this year. I did manage to get up close to him though :) I had to shine my super bright mobile light at him in order to take this really fuzzy picture *lol* Poor guy...

I can't wait for Above and Beyond in Glasgow next weekend! You can listen to their weekly radio broadcast every Tuesday @ 8pm UK time at their website.

Reenie Only @ Armin Only

I remember the first time I saw Armin van Buuren play. It was a Godskitchen event. It was at Gas 4 years ago. It was the October long weekend. It was the first time B met C, and C wore sheep pants to impress us ;) I think the night ended with C and I sitting on the floor downing tequila shots!

Armin, fireworks, lasers and dancers who looked like hookers:

This year, I saw Armin play at Armin Only, in Ahoy, Rotterdam. Just me, solo, front row, and I was in Armin heaven. It was brilliant! From start, to finish, I was listening to Armin play for about 7 hours. My legs gave out at the 4th hour and I couldn't dance anymore. Sitting down at the back of the dancefloor alone is a bad idea though. There are a loooot of crazy concerned Dutch people out there :) "Are you okay? Is everything alright? It's a party! You can't sit down! Don't you like to party?" Errr, I must be getting old.

Armin hid behind a screen for an hour. This is his "I am Jesus" pose:

Listening to Armin use to be a part of my everyday work routine. Plug in, block out everything but the music, forget how sucky the project is, and just focus on getting the job done. To hear Armin play all the tunes that made me happy and forget everything that sucked... It was worth dealing with insane airport security and travelling to Holland for. For the life of me though, I couldn't get a clear pic of Armin :P

Woo, laser lights...

Armin's been a DJ for 10 years, and I hope he's got at least another 10 more in him. It's really a tough call between him and Paul van Dyk as to who's my fave DJ. Both brilliant, PvD is perhaps more consistent with his sets, but Armin when he gets it right, it's unbeatable. More blurry Armin pix available on my flickr set.

Ula and Wilco, I did miss you... I was at a loss as to what to do once the shops closed in Amsterdam! Haha :)

Pushca - Chasing the Dragon

It's like a club stole my blog theme! So what exactly does "being Oriental" mean to Rondoners? Err, from what I saw that night, it means putting chopsticks in your hair and waving a fan!! It's an odd experience being one of the few *real* Orientals at an Oriental themed party. Who were the other real Orientals? My flatmates! *lol*

Everyone wants to be Oriental:

Rondon isn't a racist city. It's just... a tad insensitive to other cultures. I guess it's hard for people to look beyond stereotypes, and keep in mind this _is_ a theme party. So paddy field hats, cheong sams, kimonos, badly drawn moustaches and konichiwas are all to be expected. To be honest, I did feel offended that my culture was being taken the piss out of. But *shrug* like I said, it's a theme party. There was no way I was going to bother lecturing Poms that night that it took more than chopstick skillz to be Oriental (yup, someone did stop by to show me his 1337 skillz).

And if you take note from this picture (nsfw), nipple tassles are apparently all the rage with Orientals :P

Tabooboo

... the sex toy vending machine! Found it outside the toilets at Turnmills. Now, who in their right mind is going try out a sex toy in a skanky little club toilet while dozens of girls are lining up right outside the door?

SEN-SA-TION!

A Sold Out event. When I say "sold out", I'm not referring to how tens of thousands of tickets were sold out in a matter of hours. I'm talking about:
- Charging people 50EU cents for the toilets. What? I paid EU$60 for my ticket! Why do I have to pay for the toilets? At least the toilets stayed clean throughout the night, I guess. And I did manage to get out of paying for the toilets by ignoring the ladies who stood outside demanding money.
- Refusing people to let them keep the water bottles after forking out EU$4. Disgraceful! Events in Netherlands seriously need to re-think the way they do things. Water should be supplied for FREE after you've bought the initial bottle.
- Then there's the blatant marketing worked into the theme of the night. The theme was "Dreams" (well, I think it was, the narrative was pretty irritatingly dumb), and what flashed up on the giant screens was a "dream" of a lady seductively licking a popsicle. Minutes later, people from Streets are selling the same popsicle on the dancefloor.

Pros: Seeing thousands of people in a stadium all dressed in white was amazing. Having space to dance on the dancefloor was wonderful.

Cons: To be honest, I didn't really like the music, or the theme that much. Although the sound system was good, something about it was wrong. All I could hear was the backbeat, and if that's all you hear, it makes the music boring. Then there's the annoying MC dressed as the joker... *UGH* He spoke absolute crap all the way through, and put fish bowls on random people's heads. Gawd, they must've spent a lot of money on the pyrotechnics and didn't have much left for hiring a better MC :P

It was worth going to Sensation just for the experience, but, I don't think I'll be back. Here's a tip for those who want to go next year. If you miss out on a ticket, there are plenty of people with spare tickets outside the stadium on the night. Including myself. I was lucky however, and managed to sell my ticket at cost price. If you're thinking of earning big bucks by selling Sensation tix at inflated prices, don't. There's too much supply and not enough demand for tickets. Here's some pix from the night:

Just outside Amsterdam ArenA

First glimpse inside the stadium... And that's only half of the stadium in the photo!

Topless chick in a bathtub

Dawn in the stadium. If you look closely at the tiny figure in the middle, at the top of the massive podium, that's Ferry Corsten!

Bus 98 will be the death of me...

... but more on that later.

I absolutely luuuurve clubbing in London! OMG! It was a fantastic night at Turnmills, listening to Eddie Halliwell. B had the great idea of us becoming Turnmill members. Best 25 quid I've spent soo far! We got there, and were escorted to the head of the line! Everyone in the club was soo unbelievably nice! If people stepped on your foot, they apologised! *Shock* People offered us water! People chatted to me outside while I was waiting for B. I even got a free challenge on an arcade game :) I don't know what it is about clubbing here, but I was just soo pleasantly surprised by how nice people were. You never get the friendly attitude at Sydney clubs :(

I also never got the pick-up lines in Sydney clubs :) Hehe. Maybe because I was always surrounded by three giant Kiwis :) I miss having those boys around me while I dance. So, worse lines for tonite?

"You have some great moves. Are you a student?" - This came from a chubba flailing his glowsticks at me. He also kept yelling in my ear. Very annoying. His, "Are you a student," call confirms my suspicions that I still look 20 though. I think the bouncer at the door couldn't believe my age either, he kept looking at my card.

"How are you doing? I like you" - He was foreign, I think that's all he knew how to say.

So, 4am, we leave the club. Got back to Oxford Street. B and I parted ways. I jumped on the 98 bus. This is the second time I've jumped on this bus. This is also the second time it's taken me the wrong direction!!! *Arrrgh* I think my bus number is actually 94. But for some reason, I just see a "9" and jump on :( Sooo, the bus turned off Bayswater Road, onto Edgeware, I'm thinking, maybe it'll hook back and head towards Notting Hill. Nope. It's at Paddington and heading towards Kilburn!!! So off I get, and walk back towards Bayswater Road. Eventually I tire of it, and catch a black cab back home. It's now 530am. I should've been home ages ago...

I MUST NOT CATCH BUS NO 98 ANYMORE!

Here are some lousy club pix :) It's too dark to take any good ones. Btw, a solution to the nasty topless guy problem! Make the club well ventilated and airconditioned! It was cold enough for everyone to keep their shirts on at Turnmills :D I was very happy about that!

Clubbing in Berlin

I love clubbing! I think dancing in clubs is about the only exercise I get these days. Great music provided by Paul van Dyk. Great company provided by B :)





What truly utterly sucks though, no matter where you're clubbing around the globe, are the fcking sweaty idiots who take their tops off. I don't get it. Yes, it's hot, but you don't see me taking my top off and then rubbing my sweat onto other people. Just bumping into those topless idiots is enough to make me shudder. Grrrrrrr... The worst offenders are the steroid injected beefcakes. A curse on those beefcakes! May you get a skin rash which requires you to keep your shirt on! Does any girl out there really fancy those types? Then comes the hairy pot bellied fool who thinks he has the body of a beefcake and follows suit... *Argh* Think of hygiene people!