Paper

At about 2am today, my stomach retched and the ciabatta topped with Carluccio's sugo al funghi porcini came up. Unbelievably, this is the second time in my life that my stomach contents have wafted a porcini scent at me from the bowl. Traitorous stomach.

At about 9am today, SH jumped on me (hidden under my doona) in my bed, "HI BABE!!! OMG! ARE YOU NAKED?"

Shit. Indeed I am. Sometime between 2am and 9am, my clothes left me. Traitorous clothes.

It really doesn't take much these days. I think it was 3 vodka lemon limes, and a shot of Belvedere. Incidentally, a shot of Belvedere and a vodka with mixer will set you back at least 18 squids in Paper! I had to get the shot in order to cover the minimum spend before I could put it on my credit card. Traitorous cashless society.

To be honest, I was slightly disappointed with Paper. It'd been hyped as the place where celebs go to be cool. So I was expecting something big, flashy and ostentatious. I wanted Bling, Baby. Instead, I was faced with a ton of burly bouncers, a lack of seating space, and plastic chandeliers. AND, expensive spirits!!! Lucky I'm a cheap drunk. I drowned my sharply lowered expectations in vodka (obviously), and had a great time dancing to remixed choons from the early 90's :)

I also accosted a fierce looking black bouncer.
Me: *Tapping bouncer on his iron forearm* "Excuse me... Can I ask you a question?"
Bouncer: *Pulls out receiver from ear and leans down*
Me: "Have you seen any white guys on the dance floor that can dance??"
Bouncer: *Breaks out into a big grin*
Me: "No, I'm serious. Have you, in all your experience as a bouncer, seen any white guys that can dance?"
Bouncer: "You know what, I spend a lot of time watching. And I have to say they're improving."

Aaah, evolution...

We chat some more, about jazz clubs in Camden, about girls in Paper.
Me: "Do you pick up here?"
Bouncer: "I don't. The girls here, they're here for one reason. Everyone knows it."
Me: *Clueless* "What's the reason?"
Bouncer: "Money! A lot of people with money come here."
Me: "Really? I'm a bit disappointed with this place. It's small. Who's the most famous person you've seen here?"
Bouncer: "I've seen P.Diddy. Even Harry has been here."

Our conversation is cut short by another member of staff. Besides, the girls were giggling at me from the dancefloor.

To all my whitey guy friends, I don't mean you *grin* I wouldn't be caught dead with you in a club otherwise! ;) The dancing techniques in Rondon clubs though, is just shocking...

Plasticy goodness

This mini table will probably set you back 500 squids

How is it possible Niffies was still standing at the end of the night? ;)