Memory lane

It's been four years. How funny :) I look back at the pix and think, this is when I decided I'd travel the world for good music. If I had to pick a standout festival, I'd say Dance Valley back in 2004 was the best festival I ever went to. It was a beautiful day, I had so much fun, and it was an amazing experience. If only Babsy and Mike hadn't lost us in the crowd of 40,000 people!

Looking back at the crowd from the main stage:

I had some of my best mates with me:

The first time I came across a multitude of massive dance "tents":

If you haven't experienced a festival before, it's something you should definitely do at least once in your life. While you're young :P It's a lot easier when you're in your early to mid-twenties :P I had such a good time, I remember feeling so sad when it was time for me to leave Holland. A lot of good memories from that trip... It was my first to Holland.

I hate to admit it

I love my iPhone. It's an unhealthy sort of love. I never thought I could love a phone so much before. I never use to care much about what phone I had. This one's different. It took me a month to hack it, and half a bottle of plum wine to build up the courage to do it! Not to mention, I had online support back in Aus :) "The default password isn't working... It won't let me run the command... It keeps closing the connection *aaargh*..." My nerves were wrecked when I had to cut the SIM cards. Incidentally, the pimply punk at the stationery store asked me if I was 18 before selling me a stanley knife!!

This was me, back on NYE, before I passed out, loving my iPhone :P

It was worth it. The iPhone (nicknamed "touchy feely" :) ) sleeps beside me and my MBP. I looooove sliding my fingers across the screen. I looooove the two finger ZOOM on my pictures. I especially love scrolling! I've never had so much fun setting the alarm on my phone before, it's almost like playing the pokies *grin* Well sorta, you just spin the wheel until you get to the right number. An exuberant "WHEEE" burst out of me when I was demoing the alarm clock feature to someone. Apple has made the lamest, most mundane task fun :)

I really didn't expect the iPhone to be this cool. It's soo nice to look at, and it's soo nice to play with.

Cons that I can think of:
* Camera has been a little glitchy, however, I don't use it all that much and it's really not that big a deal.
* The headset that comes with the iPhone sux0rz to the max0rz. So much so that I rushed to the Apple store to see what other alternatives were available. Unfortunately, the only pair Apple were selling that was compatible with the iPhone were the V-Moda Vibe Duo. For 70 squiddies. I forked it out. What choice did I have? They're heaps better than the Apple pair, but I can't say I like them better than my old Sennies. For the first time in months, I can hear the tube softly rattling away behind my music.
* My fingers _are_ a little too fat for tapping away on the screen :( I find I'm better at typing when I rotate the iPhone to get a horizontal keyboard. Unfortunately, I can't do that when SMSing. The predictive spellchecker on the iPhone makes up a little for it. However, bit annoying when it corrects words I don't want corrected and I realise it too late.
* I haven't figured out how to sync Notes I tap out on the iPhone to my laptop yet. Or figured out if it's possible to view PDFs. I also tried to load up a tube map in gif format, that didn't work, it looked pretty crap. That's the one thing that would be really useful for me to have on my iPhone.

My biggest worry? That it's a first gen Apple product and it might burst into flames on me one day. It's going to be a stab to my heart if that day ever comes. Even still... Go buy one! Now, nOW, NOW!!! :)

Puppet pr0n

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to say the word, "penis", a lot in this post. There's your fair warning and my due diligence done.

On a whim, I decided to check out the Rondon Mime Fest. I thought, puppet show from Spain. Interesting. Can't be too bad. I hopped into a cab, headed to the ICA and even waited on the waiting list for this sold-out show. I got the very last ticket. I was stoked!

65 mins later, I came out wishing I'd just stayed home. I messaged a friend, "I just watched a puppet show. It was almost like puppet pr0n. There was even puppet penis. I'm so confused..."

It is the most nonsensical show I've ever watched. Half the time I was shaking my head and going, "Wtf?!?". The other half, I was thinking, "What the hell was the point of that?"

* Opening scene: A woman gets rogered by the devil and his sidekick. The woman gets killed by the Inquisition as a result.
Me: "Wtf? Is that a penis? Omg, the devil has a puppet penis. What the hell is the devil doing rogering that woman?"

* The woman becomes a ghost. I have to admit, the ghost looked pretty cool. The woman's daughter, Thalia, becomes a maid for the King's ho. Thalia scrubs the floors, and then brings over perfume to the King's ho.
Me: "Wtf? Did the ho just put perfume on her poonani? What the hell is she doing? Omg, I'm watching puppet masturbation!"

* In comes the drunken French King. He gets it on with his ho. The lights dim. When the lights come back on, the King and his ho are NEKID and doing it doggy style.
Me: "Wtf? Is that another puppet penis? Why the hell do I need to see so much puppet penis for? Omg, he's butt slapping her porno style!!!"

* In the next scene, Thalia is tied to a tree by the King's ho. Along comes Hans, the random boy, to save Thalia. Then Hans makes out with Thalia. The ghost enters the scene, chases Hans away. Then to "protect" Thalia from men, the ghost stabs Thalia with a poisoned needle and puts her to sleep. The ghost whisks Thalia away and lies her on a rock UNDERWATER.

This is where I wanted to put on an afro and say, "Wtf? You put that bitch underwater, that motherfucker is going to DROWN".

Is any of this making sense to you so far? Don't worry it gets WORSE. I'll cut out the meaningless middle bit and get to the end.

* 7 years later, Thalia ends up nekid on a turtle, still in a coma. Hans has become a wolfboy (don't ask) and finally finds Thalia. What's the first thing he does? Kiss her breasts. Second thing? Lick her poonani. What does the turtle do? Bite Han's penis. I kid you not. Hans then proceeds to have s3x0r with the comatose Thalia (baww-chika-waow-waow).
Me: "Wtf is going on?!? Puppet penises shouldn't be that big! When does this show finish? The turtle bit his penis, you'd think he'd take her off the turtle first before having s3x0r with her!"

* Thalia gives birth. Or rather, a baby crawls out of her vag. It sits on Thalia's face and starts to self-breastfeed. Apparently childbirth isn't enough to wake Thalia up, but the breastfeeding does the trick. Thalia wakes up! Finally! Hans returns. Hans transforms into a massive wolfbeast. Hans starts licking Thalia's poonani AGAIN (see pic above).
Me: "Wtf, I hope they're not going to do puppet beastiality!!! Oh thank gawd, the show is over! Let me out of here!!!"

Fcking waste of time and money. Don't bother seeing Teatro Corsario. The arrogant players even thought they deserved four curtain calls. If I had tomatoes, I would've thrown it at them. Give me Team America anyday.

My first Banksy

That's Banksy, the controversial graffiti artist that's become unintentionally mainstream with celebs like Bradgelina as clients. Council workers are even restoring his graffiti instead of getting rid of it.

Banksy at Portobello (the "Tada" arm supplied by EP ;) )

The owner of this wall, has actually covered the Banksy art with a sheet of perspex for protection, and is now trying to sell it for a million squiddies. Which seems a tad unfair since Banksy did all the work :P Actually, I just looked up the bid on eBay. It's up to 69 bids and £207,299.

Chris Rock

"If you're in a stripclub and it's daylight outside, you either have a problem, or you're a vampire!"

"Bush fucked up so badly, he made it hard for a white man to win the election!"

2 hours of Chris Rock live. I would rather have wet my pants than miss a minute. I almost did :P

An experiment (Part Deux)

Nothing comes from nothing. I'd read this passage the same night I decided to empty a bottle of good red:
=====
Goodwin next has a subchapter heading called "The Loner Theory." He quotes an interpretation by historian Gilman Ostrander:

"Alcoholism is basically a disease of individualism. It afflicts people who from early childhood develop a strong sense of being psychologically alone and on their own in the world. This solitary outlook prevents them from gaining emotional release through associations with other people, but they find they can get this emotional release by drinking. So they become dependent on alcohol in the way other people are dependent on their social relationships with friends and relatives."
=====

I thought about it pretty hard. The passage made me wonder if it was that easy to substitute friendships with lots of alcohol. I thought about the times when, without fail, I'd always turn towards alcohol. I thought back to when I travelled to Croatia. For the first time, I was in a foreign country, without any grasp of the language, and on my own. I felt people watching me, some even took photos (I called them the SSCWTSPAC - Secret Society of Croatians Who Take Surprise Photos of Asian Chicks) :P

That's when I started having an espresso for brekky and a beer for lunch. I started to relax after the first beer, I'd go for a swim in the Adriatic sea, I'd pop out for another beer while I sunned myself. Pretty soon, I didn't care who was staring. By the time I got home to Sydnery, I remember being able to down beers faster than a couple of giant Kiwis. It's kinda true - alcohol does provide an emotional release. On my own, I'd rather drink and be happy, than make friends and be happy. It's a lot faster and it's a lot easier.

NYE, on my own in the world with a bottle of red, wasn't that bad an experience. Puking a bottle of red, definitely was :P I couldn't do it every night. It's been 10 days and I still can't drink a glass of red. So, good news everyone, I'm definitely not swapping my friends in for the bottle! Yet, anyway. Just make sure I don't spend too much time alone with your alcohol :P

Goldfinger

Out of curiousity, I watched Goldfinger the other night. Was Sean Connery really all that suave and cool as James Bond? Was James Bond really the ultimate spy?

Take a look at this "spy" coming out of the water with a fake duck strapped to his head:

The answer to the questions above is a resounding NO. Is the duck really necessary? How does a duck add points to stealthiness?!? All this in the opening sequence. I wasn't impressed.

Another thing that really surprised me, was how absolutely predatory Bond is when it came to women! Holy crap! There's a scene where Pussy Galore (yes, you read right, Pussy Galore), refuses Bond's advances, and fights back. What does Bond do? He throws her down in the hay, rolls ontop of her, pins her arms down and forcefully kisses her into submission. You can almost hear Pussy Galore thinking, "Gawd, it's easier just to let him have his way with me".

Any guy who comments back with, "That's what all girls want," is going to get their asses kicked :P

What the hell happened to no means no?!? That's a clear case of sexual harrassment if you ask me. Definitely think the scriptwriter should be shot. At the very least, he should be shot in the crotch for coming up with the name Pussy Galore :P

Clicky here for the 15 most cringe-worthy JB puns.

World's largest plasma

Apparently available from John Lewis for a cool 50K squiddies. I guess if I had the money, I'd blow it on the world's largest plasma and invite my friends over (to watch Dirty Dancing or Sound of Music *grin*).

What I wouldn't do though, is play a continual loop of the World's-Pansiest-Looking Boy Band on it:

Now, THAT is what I call a waste of money! 50K on a plasma and this is the best they can do to show it off?!?

Let's take a closer look at the guy on the right:

Anyone else see the resemblance to Krystel Carrington? *grin*

Sparkles Magoo

Your poll was officially closed on New Year's Day

Thanks to all who voted. Although I have a sneaky suspicion that the 1 who voted pro-bush on a guy was actually a guy :P And if I had to name names, my bet would be WAZZZ *lol*

There you have it - Millenium men should definitely be trimming their hedges. Go on, make your woman happy ;) If you need some help, I'm currently unemployed and can assist. Promise not to laugh or cut off anything (too) important *grin*

Saving my pennies

(It was even raining today)

In May 2006, U&W gave me a cute little puggy bank. Since then, I've been saving up all my pennies. Yes, I live in a country that still believes in copper.

So I hauled my joyous bounty to the bank today to cash in... Only to find out that the bank won't accept my bounty unless I'd "made it up" into little plastic baggies worth one quid each. Wtf? Have I been sucked back into a time where machines don't exist? Yes, I live in a country that ignores technology and insists on meaningless manual labour. Surely, banks have machines by now that can count change?

So I hauled my bounty to a cafe and ordered a latte as I started the tedious process of counting my pennies.

This little puggy weighed down my handbag. I think I could've smacked a real pug on the head with it and caused some serious damage. There must be at least 10 squids worth of pennies in there!

Errr, make that 2 squids and approx 60 pence :( My latte bill came up to £1.95. So I dumped two plastic baggies worth of pennies on the counter and left the cafe *grin*

U&W - I hope you're reading this. You need to get me a bigger puggy bank! This one is only good for one coffee :)

Sagey Milestone

Sagey's first online chat with me :)

Soon followed by Sagey's first webcam experience. I can't wait to see her in Feb :)

An experiment (Part I)

Home from the pub by 10:30pm and not really ars3d to do anything for NYE. Still recovering from Boxing Day in Liverpud, the thought of spending NYE in a club made my soul cringe. I'd make an effort if there was a DJ I liked playing, but they're all either in Goa or Australia at the moment :P I started to wonder if I could finish a bottle of wine by myself. All I needed was a bit of encouragement.

00:36 on gmail chat
me: should i start drinking too? i have a lot of wine
adf: yep
me: okies.
adf: drink wine!

And there it was - encouragement :)

me: i'll go get the bottle.

So here's the log of events I typed up, with some post-analysis comments inbetween, as I drank, watched District B13 again, and chatted to some Aussies online.

00:40 open wine
00:49 second glass
Personally, I think that's impressive. My first glass of red was finished in 9 minutes! I'm pretty sure I was thinking, "Hey, this isn't bad. Nice wine. I could drink this bottle easy".

01:35 third glass
02:28 forth
By this stage, I'd wasted whatever credit I had left on my mobile making "I LOOOOVE YOOOOU!" calls to Australia. I was even obnoxiously sending my love online to people, "are you there blaaane? I LOOOOOVE YOU BLAAAANE!" To justify myself, I truly believe there's not enough love in this world and people should tell their loved ones how they feel more often :P

Y* - It's probably a good thing you left chat when you did ;)

I remember thinking that the fourth glass of wine was quite hard going. I was gulping it down by this stage, trying hard to complete my mission. I also had the munchies and had knocked back six chocolates.

02:32 piz
Aaah yes. Piz. By "piz", I actually meant, "pix". This is when I thought it'd be fun to use Photobooth. I've made the shots into motivational posters :P

1. I have bloodshot eyes :( You know, there's always extreme pressure to do something on NYE for no reason. Everyone stresses about what to do, and everything's expensive. Isn't it just another day?

2. Nice ladies don't give people the finger.

3. I sent this pic to CC, the lurvely girl from work who gave me the bottle of wine. I also sent it to the PA, and the project manager. They're going to think I'm nuts.

4. I think I hit the record button and fell off the bed :(

03:11 end of bootle
dregs
i dodn't know what number

Yup yup, the bottle is finally empty. I think I'm up to glass number five, but it didn't really matter by this stage. I'd restarted District B13 again because man, David Belle is so BUFF in it.

03:42 give up
I pause B13. I close my eyes.

4:\07 2 tylenol, 2 vitamin supplements, porcelain hugging. hot shower. bed
The darkness starts to spin. That awkward feeling starts creeping up my gullet. I stumble to the kitchen for some tylenol. I end up in the bathroom. It's all good. No red stains anywhere. I just wished someone was around to hold my hair up :P

So there you go. It _is_ possible for me to finish a bottle of red on my own. It _isn't_ possible for me to hold a bottle of red down. I'm actually surprised at how hard it was for me to finish a bottle. 3 hours!! I didn't have a headache the next morning, but I did feel like crap :P Which was easily fixed by some dim sum with Niffies. Aaah grease...