Spark

I understand now, just how important *spark* can be.

As a singleton in Rondon, I'll admit, any new males I meet, I'll think, "Potential?" However, sometimes, I just _know_ it's not right. The *spark* is missing. Completely and utterly not there. So when a sparkless-guy started messaging me recently, and indicated he was interested in something more than just friendship, I mulled over how to reply. What's a nice way of saying, "I don't like you in that way"? E&E were with me at the time, and I asked them for advice. E&E gave me what I thought was the best line ever:

"I'm sorry if I've mislead you, but I'm not interested"

No room for misunderstandings there, and hey, I'll even assume some responsibility if I had accidentally entranced him with my charming personality :P Only, that line has come back to haunt me ever since! I keep bumping into the sparkless-guy!! He's also telling my friends I was really harsh with that line :P It really doesn't bother me, cause I'm not going to retract it, but I do feel a smidgen of guilt. Nobody likes to hurt other people's feelings.

The more I spoke to this sparkless-guy though, the more I realised how important having the *spark* with someone is. I really miss it. It's been awhile since I've met a guy I really enjoyed having a conversation with. A conversation that ends up being about everything and nothing. A conversation that goes on forever because we don't want to stop talking to each other. A conversation that ends with a smile on both our faces. You know the feeling when that happens :)

Alas, like I said, it's been awhile. The last hopeful contender, sadly turned out to be a twat. I've become a big fan of the word, "twat" :)

The other thing I found out about the sparkless-guy, is that he's BROKE. Fair enough, he's pursuing his dream and trying to make it work. However, he's not going to win me over by saying, "I can't afford to take you out on a date". It got me thinking, at my age, and my point in life, I don't want to be dating anyone who's not financially self-sufficient. They don't have to be rich, they just have to be able to live comfortably and support themselves. I've been there. I use to date someone who was broke all the time (even though he earned more than me :P). I paid for a lot of things, because I wanted to eat out somewhere nice, go dancing, go drinking, etc. Back then, I didn't care. I had a disposable income and I didn't mind spending it on both of us having fun together.

Right now though, I think if I met a guy who's my age and broke, I wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole. I think, especially living in Rondon, I appreciate the value of my squids a lot more. I want someone to be able to pay their own way when we go out.

It seems though, that *spark* and financial self-sufficiency is a lot to ask for these days :(