Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Things change

I spent some "quality" (read: high maintenance) time with Babsy today *grin* As Babsy caught up on a previous post on my blog, she turned to me and quipped, "I remember when you hated Rondon".

It's true. There was a time when I first arrived, when I ticked off every month that passed by as a survival milestone. Things were just so _hard_. Alone, starting a new life in an unfamiliar city, getting a job, living out of a suitcase, finding a home. I even broke off a "friendship" when the one person I knew who could help me out, turned her back on me. When times are tough, you really find out who your true friends are. There were such down times, when all I thought was, "Wtf am I doing here?". At one stage, I was bawling my eyes out on the phone to my big brother. The one person I could talk to in my family who would understand. I hated it here, yet if I left, was I a failure? He told me I had nothing to worry about, that if I was unhappy, I should just come home. It wasn't failure, I'd tried it and there was nothing wrong with finding out it wasn't right for me. He told me to set a deadline and to come home.

The thing is, almost everyone who moves here goes through the same pains and self-doubts. We've all done the couch surfing, and the penny pinching. We've all struggled, it's like an initiation. I think part of the problem was, I never had to struggle so hard for anything I wanted before. All my life, I've pretty much easily achieved everything that I've set out to accomplish. Did well in school. Went to university on a scholarship. Joined a prestigious consulting company (hah!). Travelled the world. Earnt enough to live an easy lifestyle. So it was a hard kick to the guts when the one thing I had such high expectations for, and had always dreamed of doing, almost became the biggest disaster in my personal life.

I set a deadline, and it came and went. I don't know what changed, but at about the 8 month mark of my stay in Rondon, I finally felt life was normal again. I stopped being sad. I finally understood when people said they loved Rondon because there was always something to do. So to those that have just moved here, and to those that are about to leave Sydnery, my advice is to give your new city at least a year to win you over. It gets better, and a lot less scarier. It really does. I don't hate Rondon anymore, and each month flies by without a sigh of relief from me :)


niffs said...

Glad you stayed!!! It does feel hopeless and scary at first but I am so glad I did it! :)

Anonymous said...

I will forever cherish the experience of waiting in front of an ATM, for the time to tick from 11:59 to 12:00am because I had 8 squids left in my bank account and I was getting my first paycheck - after 4 months of being jobless! Ah it's all worth it in the end little one! Happy Rondon!!