Rainbow snot

I had this conversation with Babsy the other day.

// declare variables
reenie = new Rondoner();
snot = new Mucous();
// blow nose
snot = reenie.nose.blow();

// check colour
IF(snot.colour == "ffff00")
{ // colour is a lovely yellow
reenie.ailment = "fever"; }

IF(snot.colour == "7fff00")
{ // colour is chartreuse (exotic name for "green")
reenie.ailment = "flu"; }

IF(snot.colour == "000000")
{ // colour is black
reenie.ailment = "living in Rondon"; }

It's really gross, my snot is black most of the time! I'm not quite sure what causes it, but everyone points the finger at the badly ventilated tube system.