Monday, October 29, 2007

Chivalry


Poor MT. He bore the brunt of my diatribe on Saturday *grin* I couldn't help it. When MT fretted and requested one of us GIRLS to call for the bill, I let loose.
Me: "You know, if you want the bill, why don't YOU call for it? You're a guy! Take some action. I took care of getting the tea. Getting the soya sauce. Getting the chilli sauce. Clearing the empty plates. Why can't YOU get the bill?"
MT: "I'm facing the wrong way. You can see the waiters."

That was really the wrong thing to say to me. It's something that someone use to say to me _all_ the time and it's bothered me for the past four-five years.
Me: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR NECK? CAN'T YOU TURN IT? YOU'RE A GUY, TAKE CHARGE."
MT: "You can't have it all. You wanted a metrosexual guy. A guy who's in touch with his feminine side."
Me: "I NEVER asked for a metrosexual! What the hell? I don't care if a guy moisturises!"

Is it really too much to ask? :P I don't care if I'm facing the room. It just exasperates me that I'm the one that always has to flag down the waiter for something at a meal. Guys, stop being so dang lazy. It would be nice, for a change, if I went out for dinner with a guy, and he:
1. Took care of ordering pre-dinner drinks.
2. Asked me what I wanted so he could order it.
3. Flagged the waiter for anything we needed.
4. CALLED FOR THE BILL at the end of the night.

There's only ever been two men I've known who do that. My Dad - and one Mr MacGregor. Lucky you, Mrs MacGregor! Good luck Babsy ;)

7 comments:

Beckster said...

For most boys, chivalry is a learnt skill developed via trial and error and endless practise (after being hit on the head with a skillet one too many times). Only very few men are born knowing how to nurture/take care of other people instinctively, it's not intuitive most of the time. The typical guy doesn't realise how important these little nice acts are to women and how desperately little it takes to please them. If they did, there'll be a lot more people getting laid, that's for sure.

I've learnt that the easiest way to get boys to do that is simply to ask. On the occasion they do it right, praise them to the ends of the earth which will ensure a repeat performance. Sure it would be great if they knew without being told, but a gift horse rarely fall from the sky to the laps of those who don't ask.

It can happen reenie! If KC can turn himself into a gentleman that opens doors, asks for the bill, orders drinks and orders my meals and even do that lovely old-fashioned half get up thing when I leave the table to go to the restroom, anything is possible :p You deserve only the very best.

mushiejc said...

hee hee - becks your comment reminds me of when i was training ciggy to "sit, stay, come" and rewarding him with lots of praise & doggy treats....what treats are kevvy getting....er, actually don't answer that!! :)

reenie said...

Becky, you're one of the few who got a guy who bothers to LISTEN ;)

niffs said...

Amen sistah.

Though I did feel sorry for MT, I know exactly what you're talking about! Nothing worse than having to wear the pants in situations by default (not just in a restaurant) - ergh.

Someone who can decisive without being overbearing or offensive - now that's something! :p

reenie said...

To be fair, I did give MT warning that I was going to have a go at him ;)

Anonymous said...

Isn't it the case that women often don't know themselves what they want? I think at the end it all comes down to respect. But sometimes women want a man to be a real gentlemen and sometimes they want a man to act like a caveman.

They want a man to act like a real gentleman, perfect like Mr. Darcy, who is waiving down taxi's, handing the order to a waiter, helping them get seated, opening doors, ...

However, on the other side, they want to be seen as equal, pay for their own bill (I always have to come up with new trick when eating out together with Reenie and wanting to pay the bill...), decide which restaurant to go to, which table to sit on, ...

So as a man, you always try to balance things, adoring your partner, but not to much, otherwise you might give her the impression you don't see her as equal.

Wicky

reenie said...

But Wicky, I don't want to be the one that waves down the taxi, ALL THE TIME. Or be the one that orders, ALL THE TIME. I don't want to decide which restaurant to go to, ALL THE TIME.

I don't offer to pay the bill because I want to be seen as an equal. I offer to pay for the bill because I _want_ to treat you to a great meal :) And most of the time, it's my way of thanking you and Ula for taking such good care of me! I love showing you guys a good time when we hang out! The bill is not a barrier for us having fun :P