Friday, April 11, 2008

Last thing I need

My task for the day is to shop for some "naughty" hen's presents. Yes, I'm going away for a hens party this weekend, to Berlin. Everyone else being gainfully employed, the task of "naughty" shopping fell solemnly onto my shoulders.

Fine fine, I'm a big girl, I can handle this on my own. I walk into Amora, Rondon's premier concept s3x0r museum. I browse, I pick up some naughty candy nipple tassles and some *ahem* p3nis mints. That'll do for a laugh.

The cashier guy looks at me quizzically and I explain it's all for a hen's party. He's HORRIFIED! "You have to get her something more exciting than peppermint peckers!!!"

Oh dear.

Next thing I know, the cashier guy has whipped out the demo battery operated 2-player vibrator. Buzzzzz... "Feel how strong that vibe is!" I inwardly groan and put out my palm. Yup, pretty strong buzz :P Apparently, "You can turn each other on by touching each other with it all over the body".

Leaving me no time to bluster, he proceeds to touch ME all over the body with it! Across the neck, over the b00bies *gasp* So, I guess I'm a prude after all :P Cashier guy then talks me through a waterproof vibe (again, I had to test how strong the buzzz was) and a solid black ridged vibe. What was I thinking?

"25 squids for that?!? That's way above my budget!!!! For that price, the hen can use a real willy!!!"


"OMG, thank gawd he bypassed the ben wa balls"

Next up, "Here taste this". Cashier guy uncorks a bottle and dabs my hand with oil. Before I have time to think, "Where has that cork been?!?" I stick out my tongue and lick the oil. Mmmm, tasty vanilla. Then I realise, "Fck, I don't know where that cork has been".

However, that's not what this post is about. Cashier guy is funny looking. If I might say so myself, I'm more attractive than cashier guy. So the last thing I need right now, is funny-looking-less-attractive cashier guy giving me lessons in love, cause you know what that means?

There are funny-looking-less-attractive people out there getting more action than me :P


Anonymous said...

awww! :) I love your presents and I am sure they will be put to good use my love! In fact, i shall even tell you if and when we ever use a particular toy if you like? :p


reenie said...

YES, you must write up a review of the Dinky Banger for me :P