Wednesday, April 16, 2008

My mind's a mess

Sus recently introduced me to Bikram yoga. It's the hot, sweaty one. How hot? 40 degrees centigrade hot. How sweaty? So sweaty that I walk outside of the studio and feel like I'm freezing because I'm dripping wet and the weather's still cold!

Do I like it? I'm not quite sure. I don't love it, or hate it. It's something for me to do and it keeps me from going stir crazy while j.o.b hunting. For the time being it's something different from the gym.

What I'm hoping for is that it'll help me clear my mind. The odd thing about me these days is that there's an endless train of thoughts running through my head. Sometimes, I just want quiet. I don't want to think about turning 30 this year. I don't want to think about my career. I don't want to think about being single (My youth! Gone! Wasted on someone who didn't appreciate it :P). I don't want to think about family obligations. I don't want to think about what I'm going to do for the next few years ahead... There are a lot of things I don't want to stress thinking about.

So I'm hoping all the breathing, the posing, the stretching I do for 90 mins in Bikram yoga will teach me how to deal with things better. The instructor keeps telling us to smile. YOU try and smile while you're rocking on your tummy with your legs bent backwards and your sweaty hands slipping from your sweaty ankles. Your chest feels like it's bursting in the 40 degree heat. Not so easy to smile while holding a pose. However, it's all just a case of mind over matter, right?

Breathe, stretch, smile, chillax... Everything will be ok.

See you in class, Sus! :)

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