So I got to meet up and have brunch with CH at Sloane Square :) I love unemployed people *grin* And I've definitely missed CH for the past 6 weeks! Then I went on a mission. The Chap Olympiad is on this weekend. What is it? It's a bunch of Engrish dandies all dressed up doing silly things like racing with martinis. The trick is, finding out the location of the Olympiad. So I had to traipsed along to seven freaking different locations in Rondon, asking the silliest questions ever.
* JJ FOX & ROBERT LEWIS 19 St James's Street, London, SW1A 1ES
I walk through the doors, and enter the glassed off section. It's a cigar shop, the glass section has to be humidified.
Me: "I'm looking for a pipe tobacco...." *pause*
Elderly English Chap: "... That will last a hundred yard sprint! YES, we have plenty of those! I thought you were coming in to chat me up!!!"
Me: "Well, I can do that at the same time" *grin*
Elderly English Chap hands me a token. Clue #1!
Elderly English Chap: "I think it's in Hampstead" *winks*
* LOCK & CO. 6 St. James's Street, London, SW1A 1EF
Proper English Attendant: "Can I help you?"
Me: *cringe* "I'm looking for a bowler hat that will offer protection from flying saucers..."
Proper English Attendant: "YES, we have those!"
Proper English Attendant hands me a sealed envelope. Clue #2!
* R.E. TRICKER 67 Jermyn Street, London SW1Y 6NY
Me: "Which of your brogues would allow for the swiftest getaway...
Another Elderly English Chap: "...from a furious lady? Here you are!"
Clue #3 :)
You'd think it'd get easier asking these questions each time, but it doesn't. The next one was my most embarrassing. I met the cutest guy ever with the most English bouffant I'd ever seen. Ladies, you need to go here.
* GEO F. TRUMPER 20 Jermyn Street London SW1Y 6HP
Cute English guy: "Can I help you?"
Me: "Yes... You know what I'm going to ask?"
Cute English guy: "Yes"
Me: "You're going to make me say it?!?"
Cute English guy: "Yes"
Me: *double cringe* "Could I have my moustache trimmed in the Leslie Phillips style, please?"
* MACKINTOSH 54-55 Burlington Arcade, London, WIJ 0LB
I walk into the poshest shopping arcade ever in Rondon. Mackintosh is _the_ original raincoat brand from 1823. I'm greeted by a sophisticated oriental assistant.
Sophisticated Assistant: "Can I help you?"
Me: "I'm looking for a raincoat..."
Sophisticated Assistant gives me a blank look. Ruh roh.
Me: *wince* "... that will withstand several hundred spilt martinis?"
Sophisticated Assistant breaks out into a laugh and hands me the token. Clue #5 *grin*
* THE CRITERION THEATRE Piccadilly Circus, London W1
Btw, if you're in Rondon, 39 Steps is definitely a play you should check out at the Criterion :) One of the most fun ones I've been too.
Me: "Hi... Is the memory man available?"
Counter Guy: "Keep going"
Me: "I've forgotten where I left my umbrella."
Counter Guy hands me a token. Clue #6!!
Counter Guy: "I don't give it unless they say it right, no matter how embarrassed they are!"
* OLD HAT 66 Fulham High Street, London SW6 3LQ
Last stop, and easiest :) I walked straight in and delivered my line:
" My aunt has suggested I invest in a pair of velvet jodhpurs. Can you help her?"
The lady hands me token Clue #7!! Hurrah!!! :D
I had a really fun day today :) Everyone should have a Friday off once in awhile. If it doesn't rain tomorrow, I'll be at the Olympiad if you wish to join me.
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