Monday, April 06, 2009

How do you know? (deel een)

I keep asking the same question, "How do you know?"

I keep getting the same answer, "From the moment I met her/him, I just knew."

Nobody I know has words for that moment :) I wish I knew.

So I was asked, "What's gone wrong for you?"
My answer, "They always start out nice, but they always end up as twats."

J: "What sort of twats?"
Me: "Arrogant twats. Selfish twats."
J: "Have you learnt from your mistakes?"
Me: "I've learnt to identify and cut my losses sooner." *grin*

What gives me hope is that I know what J's been through. He's much older, wiser in life experiences and much more battle-scarred. He's found true love :) The moment he clamped eyes on her, he knew.

No matter how old you get, or how much you convince yourself you're ok with being alone, you'll always look for love. It doesn't mean all is breeziness. It just means that when times are hard, you have that *someone* on the same wavelength who will stick by you. When times are good, those moments with that particular person are spectacular.

The other question I get asked is, "What do you look for in a guy?"
My answer is, "Wtf does everyone look for?!?"
It's the obvious innit? Someone who's kind, loving, makes me laugh and of course, good in bed (right, Le Baguette? *grin*)

My biggest thing - Open-mindedness. A willingness to accept and share rather than change. A willingness to try. A willingness to explore.

I guess, when you know, you know.


Anonymous said...

Note that "open mindedness" does not necessarily mean "accept" per-se.

In fact, I'd argue it can often mean the opposite - when people accept too readily, they can mislead themselves into believing something that is false, which then blocks out what is true.

For example, if a girl tells me I have commitment issues and I go "yeah, you're probably right" - I'm not being open minded, I'm just being an idiot.


millimilli said...

I've done the same poll at the last few workplaces. They all gave me the same answer. It's frustrating! I want to hear an answer that was tangible!

(btw, I call the starting out nice bit MSDemo, coz the buggy bits come out later and bug the sh:t outta you).

reenie said...

Mr 2p -
*argh* Put.Name.When.Commenting!

Guys with commitment problems are so passe :P

I meant "acceptance" more along the lines of when I tell the guy about my dream to open a Fetish House of Ill Repute, he'd accept it and want to invest in midgets and giants with me *grin*

millimilli -
Time for you to swap over to OSX ;)

Anonymous said...

"Commitment problems" are a simple dissonance between societal expectations (till death do us part) and evolutionary drivers (perpetuate the genes).

This simple paradox means that this issue will never be passe` - and female relativism will mean they'll never understand/accept it :)

-- Mr 2p