Passé

Adjective: No longer fashionable; out of date.

Bl00dy Mr 2p. I'll let you remain nameless this time, however only because you've provoked me into this. Yes. I do realise you're baiting me :P That's ok, I understand that you have too much testosterone to let a Millennium Girl have her say *grin*

Are guys with commitment problems passé?

There was a time when men had bigger salaries (back in the 70's), bigger bank balances (back in the 80's), bigger six packs (definitely only in the 90's) and more hair (I don't remember those days. Rogain anyone?).

Back then, I could probably understand the need for an alpha-male to be commitment phobic. You had more to lose by committing to a girl who had less money and hair :P

These days? What exactly does a Millennium Man have to bring to the table to be commitment phobic about these days? I wouldn't say my bank balance is bigger, but I wouldn't jump at a joint account with a guy either. Millennium Men have massive debts too :P Salarywise, the Squid Overlords pay me well enough. Six packs? I'm doing spin classes and running almost everyday. From my online dating experiences, I definitely have more hair ;)

Mr 2p's explanation of commitment problems never being passé is:
"Simple dissonance between societal expectations (till death do us part) and evolutionary drivers (perpetuate the genes)." Ergo, "female relativism will mean they'll never understand/accept it :)"

My answer to commitment being passé - well yeah, it is an extremely outdated relationship view. Not every girl wants marriage and babies. Not every girl believes there is a "till death do us part". If I had a chance to write my own vow, that wouldn't be it. People change. If couples don't change and grow together, then IMHO, the relationship is doomed regardless of encroaching death.

As for perpetuating genes, unless the sperm depositor speaks French, is a third generation skiier, at least 6 feet tall, with features of Adonis, then I'm not breeding *grin* I'm not getting fat for anything less ;)

My history with commitment phobic guys? _Well_...

The one question that made me click out of my last long-term relationship was, "Do you see a future with me?" It was about having a future together. When there was no answer, I asked myself, "WTF am I waiting around for?"

More recently, I was stupid enough to ask a guy, "Are we exclusive?" It wasn't my idea. "Exclusivity" was just the first question asked by my friends. I didn't know the answer, so I asked. The guy ran away pretty fast :P

To be honest, what I really wanted to know from that guy was, "Are you fcking around with other women?" That's what "exclusivity" meant to me. Never got a straight answer to that one either.

Realise that Commitment isn't a prison sentence when it's with the Right One. Realise that a Millenium Girl standing on her own two feet needs a Millennium Man as an equal in life rather than a mound of money, muscle and hair.