Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Booty 4 sale (Part I)

That's right, I'm putting my booty up on the online market. Deep thinking about past experiences has made me realise that I need to meet more people, and I deserve more than creeps or twats. The dating website I have in mind is called www.mysinglefriend.com (MSF). I always thought it would be a good idea to "date a mate's mate". That way, the person is at least partially vouched for by being someone's good friend, right? Errrr, right.

How MSF works is that a friend has to nominate me by submitting a profile for me. I get to approve or reject the profile, and add my own repartee. So one drunken night (*sigh* I've become a bit of an alco, drinking wine on weekdays!), I sent out an email to a few of my homies:

"
I would be honoured if you had the time to write a profile for me. Of course, it's almost like a competition and I'll pick the best one *grin*"


The next morning, the first thing I thought was, "SH*T. Did I really send that email?!?" A quick check of my sent box confirms I did. My next thought was, "SH*T. Who did I send it to?!?" I skimmed the headers. I sent it to ELEVEN people. Aiyah... Still. What's done is done.

I was curious to see what replies I would get. Here are the entries so far:
=== Entry 1 ===
What are you asking to do? U want me to write a desc of you and email it to you? :P

Shes SHORT!

Me thinking: "Oh good. People are going to think I'm a midget."
My reply: "
Lousy p1mp... You're out of the running!"

=== Entry 2 ===
Summary: super fun loving, a bit independent, well travelled and loves a debate
Attached: Picture of me eating a deep friend chicken wing


Reenie, to my eternal frustration, is always the first person willing to pay for the table and the last one to ever accept someone paying for her. Her generosity is unmatched.

She's someone I love to talk to, her willingness to speak on any topic, try any new experience and go to any place makes her a source of wonderful stories. Ask her about the hot black guy.


Oh yeah, she makes a mean Hai Naan Chicken Rice!


Me thinking: "OMG, I'm going to attract a fat black guy who likes to eat but doesn't like to pay!!!"
My reply: "That's like the worse picture ever!"
Mate's reply: "haha, at least it implies you eat :)"

*lol* I rejected the profile :P Not quite the public persona I wanted to project.

=== Entry 3 ===
NOTE: I WAS NOT TRYING TO RHYME, but i started so i decided to see where it went, and it went down the drain!!

an avid filmgoer and television fiend,
if its been on a screen, she has probably seen
unless of course it's considered mainstream
that's because it is shireen

oops, none of that was supposed to rhyme, but it just rolled that way...
so on I go

like her handle she is risque
she likes it that way
if you think that's okay
then write and say hey

soz, it's getting worse...

Me thinking: "That last verse makes me sound like a floozy!" :) But if you think that poem was errr, creative (apparently there's another 28 verses to go), further emailing led to this revelation:

My first idea was "she does not have syphillis, gonorrhea, chlamydia or bacterial vaginosis"... thats what i am reading about on the tube to and from work these days

*lol* I almost burst out laughing in the office. The only thing that stopped me was the thought of having to explain to my boss why I was laughing *grin*
=== End entries ===

There's still a couple more entries I'm waiting for. I'll keep you posted :P In the meantime, here's a ronery park feet shot from the weekend. To all you smug marrieds out there, I hate you :P

5 comments:

Secretary said...

Interesting photo...
Dissapointed I didn't get asked to write something...then again...probably a wise move on your part.

As for the license issues...theya re overrated...I just lost my license for the fourth time...A$$holes...I was only doing 160 km/h and I am on a freeway...

PS Don't go out with a Scotsman...he won't pay and will be lagered and will eventually get fat...and die young ;-)

rarara said...

I think this new venture of yours sounds GREAT! And you're looking at married couples in a new light... sounds like I am still in the running to win our bet! =P

reenie said...

New light?? I still hate them :P Meeting new people doesn't mean I marry them!! *lol*

Kev said...

Last time I write a damn profile for you!

On the flip side, the whole internet matchmaking thing here in the US is totally acceptable, so you have no cause for worry :)

reenie said...

You know what KC? The stigma of online dating doesn't come from the society I live in. The UK are soo open about things, and more willing to peg online dating as socially acceptable. As an Engrish friend of mine said, "P.S I’m surprised it took you this long ;-)"

It's the stigma which comes from our CIRCLE OF FRIENDS. Be honest, you would never consider online dating :) Neither would most of our friends.